TODAY TODAY ! LOLL . so happy to see HIM ~

hmmm ,, today didn't went to school . just dun have the mood to go la . then meet kelly .

then mother calls !!! tadah ! she knows about it . LOLL . then geng la . sae late le dun feel like going . LOLL . later dc then very late go shu qing house . ahhas . then she no reply liao .

then we were at potong pasir mac slacking and ii was feeling paranoid ,, suddenly saw Lulu and PUAY DEFENG ! haas . was happy of course . but ii didn't show it la . act like ii dun care . but ii CARE ok .

they was talking about his hand . and my heart ache . haiis . but ii dunno what to say ? i'm no one to him . no reason why ii should show him care although ii care ? haiis . the feeling just s***. sorry. no vulgar . haas .

defeng went to school dunno apologise what . so left me ,, kelly and lulu at the void deck talk . then talk about him lorr . haiis . lulu sae is my fault . he cares for me so much and yet ii dun appreciate . keep giving attitude . keep not understanding him . haiis . but ii also dun like giving him attitude . just wanna him to show me some concern . ii know that sometimes he need some concern ii also never did la . so ii think and think and think and ii do drop some tears . haiis . ii really dun wanna cry !!! KILL ME PLEASE ! haiis . no point saying much ii think ? haiis . MISS HIM la !!

later going jolin de qian chang hui at marina square . with some school frens . they is first tym jio me out lorr . sh SHOCK la ! they guai guai de lehhs . then sometimes cannot click la . but since i'm already changing ,, so i'll adapt ! adapt to guai guai de life ! hehheh .

friday dunno want meet who . hmmm ,, want meet him and lulu but they sae they got daiji . nvm . hmmm ,, duno want meet kelly anot lehhs . but kelly gotta go daiji with her tao eh . then it's like out of point la . i dunno them then some more is their clothes de thing . then somemore ii dun like gangsterism . then she would be with her gangsterism thing . haiis . but if ii really find no one then of course is go la . correct ma . LOLL . ya wad ,, no ppl meet . dun wanna stay at home ! later mama nag nag nag ii die . baby and boy going marina square tian mimi . dun wanna disturb them . so envious of them. nvm . i'm sure i can find mine one day ! wish me happiness ok ! II MISS MY SPECIAL HIM .

HE WOULD NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME ~ HAIIS .

CHANGES OF MY LIFE !

haiis . national day is coming soon and ii was so sad . because ii remember what ii said . to watch fireworks with him . it would never happen . dream on . wow ! know what happen when ii was on the way to school today ? at the traffic junction ? a sgss girl stare at me lorr . what the ... then ii stare back lorr . but think of it ,, childish la . no more gangsterism . OK !!! i'm a 100% good girl . haas .

today ii went to aljunied then went home le . no place to go . haiis . not used to it . grace meet her school fren study . baby meet ah boy .andrea made up with andy also le . so they were the most fortunate ones . so happy for them . all the best ok ? so ii just have to go home . anyway , who cares ? hmmm ,, so sians la . miss him ? haiis . he must be enjoying now . tsktsk .

yesterday went to meet baby and grace go braddell mac study . here's some of our photo . haas .

this is where we study before heading to mac .

same same place la . (=

sometimes ii'm just wondering whether we are really studying or just studying marlboro . LOLL

the first reaction when we saw this pic was ... EEEEEEEEEE!! haas .

ii told them a secret ya ? LOLL !

same same la eh .

so when they are studying ,, ii continue to take . spastic me making stupid faces . LOLL !

GET LOST LA ! IRRITATING .

kelly sae ii look so ti go pek in this . hehheh . *slurp*

sexy uh ?! MAKE ME URS THEN . LOLL .

enough of piics la . so let me tell euu our conversation .

KAMMY : when guys haven't gotten us

GRACE : they will try to "zhen qu" us .

KAMMY : when they " zhen qu " us

BABY : they will take us for granted .

ahhas ! totally agree rite and the most funny thing was ,, one person one sentence . LOLL .

and our RULE : NO VULGARITIES ! FINE: $1

hehheh . money is rolling in fast . especially baby and we will know who is more VULGAR !!! LOLL . andrea ,, we're WAITING ... LOLL . and chalet will be coming fer us !

thanks fer making me so happy sis . knew euu all would be there though at tyms euu all not free but ii'm understanding . ii just have to adapt that kind of life . (: NO WORRIES . *thumbs up*

ii dun miss him when ii'm wiith euu all . euu all made me forget all worries . when ii am alone ,, ii do think of him and heart aches . but it will be over soon . everyone has to go through . ii'm totally fine ya ?

think friday ii would be alone too . cause andrea meeting grace in the afternoon and they would have to go home quite early and ii work till night then can go out . then baby going out with ah boy . firstly ,, dun wanna disturb them . secondly ,, if they're not alone ,, surely HE will be there too . surely ii would want to follow . but ii know he won't be too happy seeing me . so better is SIAM ! haas . anyway ,, anybody who wanna meet ,, please message to my phone . no guys are entertained . except ... hehheh . ii know who ,, my sis know who can le . LALALA* shhh . TOP SECRET . but it's obvious la deh ~

wa ,, euu know what ? today when ii was going to school ,, at the traffic junction there ,, got one sgss girl diao at me euu know . wa lau . damn du lan so diao back la . but in the end ,, think of it ,, dun care too much la . just gangsterism . HATE IT ! i'm a 100% good girl . hehheh .

yesterday went to meet grace and baby to study . went braddell mac . LOL . was having alot damn fun then when we went to smoke ,, we had a conversation .

KAMMY : when guys haven't gotten us ,,

GRACE : they will try to "zhen qu" us

KAMMY : after they have "zhen qu" us

BABY : they will take us fer granted !

LOLL lorr . so damn funny rite . one person one sentence . hmmm . this is our pic . NA ~

this is when we were studying at the void deck before heading to mac .

same same place la . HAAS ~

ARGHHH !!! some problem occur and ii'm lazy to waiit cause ii'm rushing fer tym now . so will update agaiin sooner ok . MUACKKS . was having alot of fun ok . and doesn't think too much when ii'm with them . THANKS ! muackks . will be leading the life from now on .

and not forgetting what is our rules . cannot scold/use VULGARITIES ! FINE=$1 !! HAAS . first change of my life ! everything will be smooth . hehheh !

HEARTBREAKING !!!

wa !!! so fucking damn sad !!! OMG . saw his frenster . and tears keep coming down .Dunno WHY ?!!! Love her ? go back to her then . dun let her wait . went to ask ying ying and lulu but they say they haven't patch . haiis . if he just wanna gek me ,, he did it . ok !!! he win !!! ii was sad ! a sharp pain poking through my heart . dun wanna face the reality .

if he really love her ,, then go back to her . they are meant to be together . suitable for each other. she was more understanding than me . dunno what to write la . sians la ! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH ! can somebody kill me please ! ii dun wanna suffer anymore . ii'm stuck in it ! oh GOD ! heart so paiin ... what can ii do ? can somebody lead me fo rmy next path ? the rest of my path . can somebody teach me what to do ? ii'm LOSt !! TOTALLY !!! ii can't act strong anymore . i'm breaking down !!! sooner or later . please dun torture me . I HATE THIS SHIT ! feeling so shit now !

ii wanna keep everything to myself . ii dun wanna let my frens and sisters to worry about me . ii'm OK ! ii'm FINE ! ii would try to be happy . ok ? ii PROMISE euu !

dun think ii would want to go and view her blog and their frenster anymore . ii wanna stop all this ! ii dun wanna face this cruel reality . ii know they would be back together . wish them all the best !!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE !

think won't be blogging until ii really get over it . already sae ii wanna keep everything to myself . tears keep rolling heart feels the ache . the pain . can the tym stop now ? dunno how to carry on ... it's too painful to carry on . everything happen just too fast . ii long ago knew he still l0ves her . so why still cling on to him ? ii have to let go .

SISTERS ,, II NEED EUU !!!

saw his msn nick just now . was kinda disappointed . haas . but nvm . ii also not his who . hmmm ,, just wanna sae ,, ii dun need ur care . go and care fer her fer all ii care . i'm FINE ! totally fine ! euu dun have to care fer me . it would not make me feel any better . but SAD ! euu understand ? go make to her if euu want ! ii won't bother euu anymore . HAIIS ~

today went to work . hmmm ,, so was having money now . LOLL . can go and buy my things soon . so was kinda happy . LALALA*

after work went to meet grace ,, smoke then went home le .OMG . really going to quit smoking le la . it's kiiling me ! the MONEY ! LOLL . hmmm ,, so meet her then went home . then went to view her blog as she told me she has updated . ii didn't know she was feeling so left out . haiis . how could ii do this ? ii should have known her better . she was my sister . very good one . dui bu qi . promise euu ii won't . will call euu along even though ii meet my "future" bf . if ii have any . just hope euu dun mind . if ii dun have ,, then i'm totally URS ! LOLL . kks la .

am feeling happy fer baby . she and ah boy made it up . LOLL . me ? getting from bad to worst . but it's ok . i'm used to it till i'm numb le . it does still bother me a little . but since he doesn't care ,, why should ii ? HAIIS . dunno what ii'm thinking la . PARANOID PARANOID !!! feel like killing myself lorr . can somebody just beat me till i'm awake ? HAIIS .

my life is boring .... so shall just write till here . FORGETTING IN PROGRESS . GIVE ME SOME TYM AND DUN PESTER ME . haiis .

when ii meet baby ytd ,, she was crying and crying non-stop . Hate to sis like this . While i am there, feeling useless . haiis . it doesn't bother me anymore . i'm not important to him anymore . so dun think he will be reading my blog anymore . haiis .

when ii saw baby crying , ii was thinking myself . why didn't ii cry ? Was it b'cus i knew i'm at fault ? am ii really at fault ? or have ii cried enough fer him ? i dunno . There wasn't any tears for me to drop . my heart has shattered to powder . it could never be back to pieces again .

ii knew what ii was going to change . my ATT . but do euu think ii love showing my att ?! love quarreling with him ? ii hate it . be'cus ii know it will cause us to break but what to do ? it really is hard to control . especially when euu care fer the person so much . and ii shouldn't talk to any guys anymore . ya ? even his fren ii also must talk less . But will that be of any use if ii change ? he won't be back anymore . he told me he dun wanna be soft-hearted again. So obvious rite . haiis . think just change ba . even if he will not be back ,, it will do me good . if ii find other guys ,, it would be better . but of cus it won't be so soon . i still have a long way to go . TO FORGET HIM ! maybe if ii change ,, there's still a 1% that he will come back ? haiis . ii won't pin too much hope .

ARGHHH ! miss him so much . feel like calling him to meet up . but ii know he doesn't want to see me now . i'll just have to wait for his call . i'm sure he will call me if he wanna meet . but if he doesn't ,, i really have to let go . ii saw him on msn . feel like chatting with him . but dunno what to sae . so just send him those photos that we take . haiis . he din approve . din reply . think he also cllose the window le ba . haiis . dunno what to do now . Time has already run out for a happy ending .

so what happen today ? i was totally shag . even kelly knew sth has happen to me . and she ask me so ii told her . he was on my mind so ii couldn't really concentrate on my work . haiis .why ?? why why why why why !!! ii didn't wish things to turn out lidat . ii'm AFRAID . he would find another girl soon . it's always lidat . haiis . ii dun wanna wait anymore . if he really does , ii won't bother him anymore . go for his happiness . i'm tired of waiting and yet things turn out to be the same . and making him more pissed off of me . i dun wanna stuck in this circle . ii wanna be happy too . ii admit that i'm happy when i'm with him . but it's just certain things . he cares for me ii admit . ii just dun feel the love he has towards me . he sae he was drunk so din msg me but how come he could play dota when he reach cuppage and why can't he give me a msg when he's abit awake ? is it that diff to type a msg ?

haiis . ii dun wanna think much . it would only hurt more . haiis . tears just drop today . when ii read baby's blog . she sae she isn't as strong as me . and my heart ache . yes ,, my heart do ache . but ii'm not as strong as her . ii just dun wanna brood over it . no point . he won't be back anymore . he's given me alot of chance ii know . ii shouldn't be too much asking fer more . ii din know how to love . ii wasn't a good gf . so much so to sae . haiis .

the three happy girls turns out to have the same fate over the same thing .

haiis . BIG QUARREL !! haiis . should have gone back home. but ii really wanna be alone . not ii want gek them or what and fer what ii wanna gek them . haiis . dun sae so much . no point saying so much .

maybe what jason sae is right . ii should go and think about it . what have caused us to quarrel and what have cause us to break up . and try to change a part of it . and ii should be the one changing fer him and not waiting fer him to change then should ii change . haiis . why lidat . why things turn out to be lidat ? shouldn't have gone to cuappgae in the first place . should have gone home with grace in the first place . or rather go home with baby in the first place . baby and ah boy have made it up and i'm happy fer them .

haiis . thinking much won't help me solve my problems or the problems between us . so just give me some tym to prove him that ii've change . not to care so much about his gangsterism and who he cares about . maybe this would help to change my attitude towards him ? hope so .

ARGHHHHHHH !!! so sad . what to do . he won't be back . he told me he dun wanna be soft hearted anymore . so now how ? should ii change or should ii not . haiis . no sad no sad . no point being sad . KAMMY !!!!!!!! BE STRONG . euu ken do it . this is not the first tym he's leaving euu .

face the reality . OMG . say one thing yet thinks of another thing . haiis . find work find work . forget everything . anybody got any job to intro . ii wanna WORK WORK WORK WORK . should ii go back to fernando and work ? haiis ........ pek chek pek chek . what do ii wan ? what does he want ? i'm not sure . maybe ii dun understand him enough . what he sae was right . we belong to two different world . ii should let him go . since he's happier this way . let it be . let him go . what's urs would be urs . no point forcing. let nature take its course . let fate decide how euu should go .

ii wanna be alone fer the tym being . so sis dun think would be meeting euu all this few weeks . but if ii think there's a need . i'll give eu all a call alright ? dun worry ya. i'm big enough to think . anyway ,, i LOVE euu sisters . thanks fer being there to console me . it's much better . really ...

am currently at cuppage now . so damn damn damn damn FCUKED UP !!!

ah dear went fer the dinner . ok ,, nvm . then ii told him finish everything message me .

guess what happen ?! i din receive a single message from him . and heard from baby ah wee got bring girl go down . so ii was thinking . why ah wee can bring someone who isn't his gf to go then what about me ?! ah ,, ii was just not important to him la . feel like leaving him ? haiis . this question appeared on many minds many a time . will he be happier if he went back to her ? ii know it's him who chose to be with him but when can't ii feel his love ? she's more understanding wad . correct anot ? and there ii am thinking this and that . HAIIS !!! DU LAN !!! so when we reach cuppage ,, ii didn't talk to him and he didn't bother to come over . haiis . WTF ! so angry la . haiis .

ah boy also go over to baby's side lorr . going home soon . dunno whether to type the message and send to him ? dun have the courage . know ii would be DAMN FUCKING SAD ! but did he ever put himself in my shoe ? NO ! he always says i'm unreasonable . he also never think of what he did to make me be like that lorr . haiis . maybe he's right la . I"M UNREASONABLE !!

hmmm ,, but i'm glad that ii still have my sisters . ANDREA ,, GRACE and BABY . hehhehheh . glad they are there to be with me . haas . alot of fun when we were town-ing rite . LLOL ! haiis . unspoken words ~

ahha~ i'm supposed to meet andrea ,, baby and grace at cine now and yet here ii am blogging . LOLL . hmmm ,, alright .

was a very pek chek night yesterday . went to cine to meet them then daiji here daiji there . aiya ,, FCUK IT ! then no watch movie le lorr . *sob* although ii watched le la . hmmm ,, lidat lorr . then went to baby's house . and there ii was sleeping like a piig with my ah dear . LOL . but it was "SHIOK" LOLL . hmmm .. kks ,, enough bout yesterday thingy .

today ah dear going eat dinner with his gangsterism fren and all those stuff . hmmm ,, so will be meeting him at orchard ii think . but if he finishes too late ,, then should not be meeting le ba . haiis . miss him so la . LALALA* bored to death . so many homeworks lehhs . a-maths , e-maths , geography , ss , mother tongue . and ii haven't even touch one. aiya . ii dun give a damn la . next tym then sae . LOLL . hmmm ,, maybe tonight burn midnight oil ba . LOL. kks la . write till here . gotta go bathe le . if not ,, GRACE and ANDREA is going to kick my ASS damn hard . iiLOVE my gers . they dun bear to KICK one ryte . LOL . faster faster le la . bye everyone !!

s i g n n i n g o f f

siaocharbol0vesherboy !

QUARREL !!! ARGHHH~[ii din like it !]

haiis . sians. yesterday quarrel with ah dear cause he saw my blog of what ii wrote . haiis. then he sae dun wanna meet me . then ii was like ,, sad lorr . then ii was on the train somemore and alone somemore . haiis . then was like .. tears are dropping down and yet ii couldn't cry as there are ppl on the trains . haiis . was feeling so lost . dunno what to do and dunno wad to sae . and dunno why ii wanted to cry too ? just feeling kinda sad . )':

so ii called up baby and then ii meet her . didn't intend to disrupt her and ah boy . but cause ii heard her sae she's meeting jason too so ii dun think they will mind another light bulb ? hmmm ,, anyway ,, was feeling abit better when ii was with them . althought ii waited fer them fer quite a long tym . hmmm ,, then they sae they wanted to watch movie then ii told them sae if too late i'm not going to watch le .

so we went up and watch the schedule . hmmm ,, so there's only re-cycle , superman returns and pirates of the caribea . so they've already watched superman returns and re-cycle ,, so we decided to watch the pirates de . but ii didn't want to watch it . because ii promise my ah dear that i'm going to watch with him . so ii walked off . but ii remembered that baby's drink was with me so i have to walk back and pass it back to her .

haiis . then they told me they already bought . dun waste the money . so bo bian lorr . hmmm ,, then ... we saw lulu at bishan . thought what happen . like kinda depression lidat . but ii didn't talk much to him la . then after we went down .. ah boy told us to wait downstair sae he want to go find lulu . after a long while ,, baby and me went up to find him . then when we are going down ,, ii saw lulu with ah dear together . ii was like ... OMG !! faster , RUN ! dunno why ? LOLL . maybe he sae he didn't want to meet me then ii was thinking he did not want to see me so ii just wanted to run lorr. haiis .

then we went s11 to eat and then went fer movie . ! hehheh . was nice la . but no ending . so sad lorr . guess there's still a third part ba . hmmm ,, maybe going watch with ah dear again tonight ! LOLL . waiting fer it . hees *

watch until half way ,, ah dear suddenly message me sae he reach home le then sae wad he wan sleep le . then ii was feeling happy of course . then thought he was still angry with me lorr. and so . ii decided to give in a little and talk to him nicely . hehheh . so .. we're ok le lorr . HAPPY ~ *clapclap*

wow ,, such a long post . ppl see le also dun feel like reading ryte . LOLL ! hmmm ,, anyway ,, was happy la . and feel like giving myself one tight slap for feeling so paranoid everytime la ! haiiyo ~ so ANNOYING !

heandshe*

the story of kammy and defeng~

the story of a horse and a crow .

tuhh be continued ! LOLL. (:

hmmm ,,today was fun at school la . what to sae . hahas * keep on disturb miss chek until she wanna vomit blood . but this is what we wanna do . let her be real sick and then no come to school then we are free .! LOLL . then during social studies mrs yong is like mood swing lorr . scold and scold la . but who gives a damn . is she herself too much ok . never come then nvr come la . give what surprise class test . she thinks our class like her alot mehhs ? eeyer .

hmmm ,, then alot of homework lor . later going aljunied . then maybe go meet him . but if he never call me then ii maybe no meet him le . maybe go home or go meet grace . that's all ba . need go bathe lorr . that's all folks . enjoying going to school although it's tiring . especially those tyms when we disturb PENGUIN !! LOL * miss euu guys !

II DUN GIVE A DAMN .

waiiting fer my AH DEAR come my house then night time go pasa malam . Actually dun wanna update de but siince ii've tell wanting to come view as ii told her i'll update so dun dua her lorr . ii'm not like the GOD-KNOWS-WHO hors . sae wan update fer dunno how many weeks but still haven't . lalala*

Just a blink of eye and now iit's JULY !!! i still remember when it was still Jan and there ii was dragging myself to school .For the past few months , many things happened to me that ii simply couldn't breathe . He left me and turn my world upside down . I became so depressed that ii decided to work and work to forget everything . but ii still couldn't . But fortunately , this doesn't affect my studies . *clapclap*

i met another guy soon and decided to give him a chance and to give myself a chance to forget him . ya ,, ii admit that ii do love him alot in the first place but what he did simply piss me off . and we just broke off and the feeling was like ... OMG , hurt another innocent party ! and ii was like telling myself not to fall in love again as ii wasn't ready myself until ii totally forget him and tell myself that even if he came back ii wouldn't turn back too . but ii lost this battle .. ii still went back to him . " 好 醜 的 笨 女人"

okay ,, so everything was back to normal but somehow or rather ii still feels that he still cares fer her although he didn't sae so . or am ii being PARANOID again ? haiis . sians . hmmm ,, just feel that ii should stop myself from getting deeper and deeper in this r/ship . if not i'm gonna sink and die when it breaks . LOL * i don't care who will come and view my blog and who will read this post ok !!! ii just wanna let everything out . this is a place where ii'll sae everything . i'm not afraid of whatever shit , whatever consequences i'll face . like it or hate it ,, ii wouldn't care less .

i believe that every relationship will have problems . and this is just one of our problems . true love never runs smooth . as long as he is with me 24 hour ,, ii would be happy and as long as ii'm happy ,, ii wouldn't care less ! i'm selfish ok .

just a few months time and 'N' level is coming soon . Yet ,, i'm all over BGR and not in the mood to study . STOP IT KAMMY ! YOU GONNA UT EVERYTHING TO A STOP ! STOP BEING NAIVE *

i l0ve my sisters ! smooch *

thiink i'm gonna need all ur listening and shoulders soon*WaKaKa

LALALA*i'm 'PARANOID__:;

ii'm feeling lazy tuhh blog . hehheh* but ii still did! (= so currently editing many things . making a mess out of everything . LOL . hmmm ,, bored la . now going tuhh bathe then go aljunied then go meet GRACE and AH DEAR . so will be slacking at tpy ba .

ah dear told me tml he wanna come my house sit sit then go pasa malam but ii doubt so cause he also told me his mama giive him money buy shoe so ii think ii pei him go buy shoe ba . pasa malam next tym go also never mind ba . hmmm ,, lidat lorr. ii'm bored !!!

kks ,, write till here ba . i'm tired . now go bathe le . take care everyone !! MUACKKS ~

here tuhh update . been tirred today . after school one thirty straight away go work then from two work till nine lorr . then go meet AH DEAR then went home le. was tired la . then no mood do homework . tml iis a b0riing day . need go aljuniied . haiiyo . but wei le money ,, it's ok . hmmm ,, ok ,, write till here ba . nothing much . ii may be leadiing a simple life ,, but ii love iit . lalala*

hmmm ,, am currently eating and surfing net now . wahaha~ later going to ah dear house . then still need go meet nat take the money and pass tuhh my fren . haiiyo . troublesome . then later maybe meeting grace ,, baby and andrea . maybe la . see how ba . <3

nth happen much yesterday because ii was at home the whole day . so ii just use the net , do homework ,, then use net agaiin . actually wanted to use till two plus then straight away watch soccer but my mummy cry father cry mother that's why never . then my mummy ask me go sleep sae she will wake me up to watch soccer . but she never. hmph ! ='( sad lorr . haiis . anyway .. i'm going to bathe now .

BABY ,, GRACE ,, ANDREA !!! ii miss euu guys ! muacks ~

....

hey hey,, just reached home . a little not feeling well and tired at the moment . hmmm ,, iiLOVEdefeng ... hehheh .

hmmm ,, yesterday was a tiring day fer me . went tuhh work then eat after work then rush home tuhh bathe then go cuppgae meet them then surf net then update lorr . then after see baby blog wait fer them play finish dota then we go cine watch superman ! wahaha. was quite a touchiing show but lame too . then stupid ah dear fall asleep at the most exciting part . kaos . might as well dun watch . waste money rite . haiiyo .

hmmm .. but never mind la . once in awhile . then the stupid lulu keep disturb us . wad "i'll always be around ." didi siaosiao uh . but was fun la . was kinda du lan withh lulu and jason yesterday . ask them nicely wan go already not then they keep talk cock . wah lau eh . sick lorr . then we just walk off lorr .

am currently waiting fer my food tuhh come . ahha ~ my brother fren buying up fer me . good good . who ask him sway ,, call my house fone then ii pick up then shun biian lorr . LOL . am hungry lehhs . wake up till now haven't eat yet . that shall be ma first meal . ahha ! good good can lose weight le . so many ppl say ii fat le . OMG !!!!

hmmm ,, i'm b0red

am now at cuppage . so let me tell euu wad happen today . hmmm ,,went home after school then change then go meet ah dear . he was sleeping and so ii was there watching him sleep lorr . after that ii went tuhh work goreng pisang , then went home change so now just meet till them ba . haiis . am tired but bo bian . cause no money ma . lalala* so happy la . can meet him .

of all my darlinks or sisters ,, ii love grace and baby the most !!! MUACKKS ~ thanks fer beiing there when ii needed euu all the most . promiise tuhh love euu all forever ya ?

updating . -------quiiting smokiing iin progress-------

hmmm ,, updatiing now . goiing tuhh df house then go work then head tuhh town meet my beloved sisters . hmmm ,, fer now de kammy ,, she thiinks that this is blessed because she could meet him everyday but fer last tym de kammy ,, she sure sae it's bored fer her . everyday the same old thing . after school ,, fiinish thing go meet him and go home . ii think it's good ba . can save money . LOL !

eh ,, sisters ,, dun keep say me lidat lehhs . ii dun like eh . at least ii got make an effort to meet euu all today go town rite . kks . gtg le . take care . miss euu girls ! muackks ~

lalalalalalalala

missing my AH DEAR liike hell . goiing aljunied then go find him . hmmm ,, promiise there's only hiim in ma heart . AISHITERU !! ahha~ hmmm ,, kks la . enough craps . hmmm . that's all ba . sisters uh ,, meet euu all this fri uh . town kks . but i'll be workiing till eiight plus nine . waiit fer me kks . ii chiong down . LOLS . take care and miss euu guys . MUACKKS !!!!

our niice niice piic lorr .

na ,, thiis the piic we took that tiime .

paiikia paiikia us . LOL !

stupid stupid me dunno doiing wad .

stupiid me and stupiid us . anyway ,, enjoyed the day . he's forever my black horse . wahaha . tried upload iin frenster but couldn't . haiis . too bad . ):

today went his house wait fer baby come then meet danny pass him money cause soccerr lose money and then eat then danny bought me cig then thiink he jealous . haiiyo . no matter wad ,, ii love de will always be him . hmmm ,, just simply love hiim deep deep la . ahha~ hmmm ,, that's all ba . then went home le lorr .missing hiim so much . goiing sleep soon so tml will c0me faster . ahha ~ MUACKKS to dear dear . lalala* nytes everyone .

happie (:

03rd July 2oo6...

hmmm ,, it was a happy day fer me . an0ther chance fer me . heaven was faiir to me . keep giiving me chance but ii was the one who didn't know how tuhh cherish it . haiis . so ,, was a happy day . went tuhh his house . then dunno why jiu zhi ran er ran lidat patch lorr. ahha ~ how tuhh describe thiis feeling ? been waiiting fer something so long and finally iit came . get it ?! LOLL ! hmm, ii pr0miise tuhh cheriish and tuhh treasure hiim . not tuhh do anythiing fooliish anymore and never tuhh LEAVE hiim agaiin . i know ii've d0ne alot of thiings that cause hiim tuhh be sad . that's why ii won't wanna do iit to hurt hiim anymore . he still trust me so much after wad ii did tuhh him and yet ii was there yi shen yi gui when he never did anything wrong tuhh me . haiis . *slapslap*<br>

o4thJuly2oo6...

anyway ,, what tuhh sae ,, just wanna sae ii l0ve him deep deep . ahha~ hmmm ,, n0w goiing bathe then g0iing aljuniied then g0iing meet hiim le . although n0w he change tuhh at niight never g0 out so often le but he still didn't g0 school often . but it's ok la . let it be . LOL! ii also got lidat de ma . must be understandiing abiit . ii dun wanna be liike last tym . abit abit giive attitude then quarrel . ii dun wanna lose hiim agaiin . HE"S MY EVERYTHING ~

never ever goiing tuhh make hiim sad anym0re .

haiis . so heartpaiin .

oh ya ,, one more thiing . saw my daddy at jalan besar mac yesterday . haiis . so heartpain . see his face liike so shag . omg . but ii din sae much about it . i din have the courage . feel like slapping myself . haiis . then act as if ii din know what was happening . but actually ii knew everythiing . hmmm ,, then he ... haiis . just h0pe that he w0uld st0p playiing and settle d0wn la . grace and alicia sh0uld kn0w what ii meant by playiing la . haiis . heartpaiin . then he t0ld me ii din give him a cor on father's dae and my sister did . haiis . so unfillial me . haiis . he must be sad . haiis . nvm . his c0ming bdae ii sure g0 fiind hiim . w0uld be with him one full day . it's a pr0miise alright ? DADDY ,, ILOVEU ! muackks ~

my daddy daddy . haiis . du bu qi*

introduce MISS SWAN . LOL .

hmmm ,, so now , wad's fer me ? went to df house because he called me . but jason was there and then meet baby ,, su guan ,, aaron ,, ah boy ,, terrence . yup yup . then went to mass and play billiard lorr . omg . so siians . then order mac to eat then went home le .

today woke up very early . then saw his msg . he used my didi fone message me sae he called me but ii was asleep . haiis. why ii so early sleep sia . too bad fer me . haiis . then when ii go see my blog saw his tag . ahha ~ happy like f**k . dunno what to sae . h0pe he will c0ntinue seeing . haiiyo . see ,, ii keep torking about him agaiin . *slapslap* . liidat how to forget . wahaha~ nvm . i'll wait . lalala*

cute ryte . will always be HIM ~ (^_~)"

hmmm ...

YESTERDAY~

went tuhh ciine and saw them . then actually didn't talk wan then meijuan came and ask whether ii wrote a testi is it so ii sae yes lorr . wow . she look so diff from frenster lorr . wahaha ~ dunno who was that ? at first la . then ying ying sae hi so ii sae hi . actually was quite paiseh la . didn't know things would turn out tuhh be lidat . hmmm ,, then when ii went tuhh 7eleven help baby buy battery more worst sia . ii can't take out the battery . LOL ! luckily meijuan they all came and help me . thanks uh . haas * MALUMALU . muahaha ~

TODAY*

hmmm ,, he called me . dunno what happen . seems emotional . first tym he jio me out . must faster le . kks . write till here . going bathe le . dun wan tuhh keep him waiting . (: happy !

b0rdem .

hmmm ,, just went back fr0m baby house. tired . just bathe fiinish . update finish wan go ciine meet them le . hmmm ,, yesterday meet le then take pfotos le lorr . yup yup ,, am enjoying it . wahaha ~ hmmm ,, haiiyo . wad to sae lehhs . nothing la . I DUN MISS HIM . yaya ,, wadever lorr . that's all la . tml need do homework lorr . siians half half lorr .

NICE SONG TUHH SHARE *

I will not make the same mistake that you did. I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard. I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid.
I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life. My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid.
I watched you die, I heard you cry in the night in your sleep. I was so young you should've known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in. Because of you I am ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you I am afraid, Because of you.

bored . tiired ...

hmmm ,, just reachh home from goreng piisang . wahaha ~ hmmm ,, just now smoke at home kena caught by my brother . SHIT SHIT SHIT . but he also scold scold only la . hmmm ,, siians . later going town now .

hmmm ,, ii'm tiired and ii'm laxy tuhh blog . update euu all next tym kks . LOL . take care .

lalala*

today didn't go skool cause baby din want go . then ii thought nobody with her . so pon lorr . hmmm ,, then HE suddenly use baby fone tuhh call me . so pon together lorr . hmmm ,, then meet them at p0tong pasir mac with baby and lulu . then went tuhh bishan . baby buy sth . . . wahaha ! but nth lehhs . abit giddy ,, blur only . hmmm . aizai . LOL . then slack at there all the way le . siians la. wahaha ~

hmmm,, ii finally realiise that tuhh stop thinking of s0meone ,, if euu really want tuhh f0rget someone ,, tuhh put hiim down , it's tuhh talk tuhh him less . and liike grace ,, cut d0wn c0nversatiions . so ii dun thiink ii w0uld want tuhh bl0g so many thiings saying about him le la . hmmm ,, siians . !

they chu spot again . there ,, ii know de . one sae tml then sae. the other sae sat go see with his gf . kaoz ! sad lorr . but nvm . is ok la . wahaha ~

dun meet dun meet lorr . lidat better . meet when there's a need . wahaha ~ siians . b0red la . g0ing tuhh bugiis walk walk wiith grace and baby later lorr . buy my dress . wahaha ~ if still c0uldn't fiind one that ii like then i'm going tuhh buy shorts and skirts lorr . ahha ~ weets .

sexy babe .

PERSEVERE

PERSEVERE

PERSEVERE

PERSEVERE

PERSEVERE

hmmm ,, YAY !!

it's kiinda bored now . later goiing tpy sell banana . wahaha ~ money money . yay ! more and more money . haas . hmmm ,, can't waiit till Friday euu know . so many events going tuhh happen . hmmm ,, morning go sell banana then go home change ,, meet LULU ,, HIM and BABY to take neopriint and watch moviie . then go wonderland find ALice liiao . wahaha! excited,,

hmmm ,, so school reopen is a good thing fer me . ii dun think so much le maybe because ii dun have the time tuhh thiink and ii PERSEVERE not to contact him and ii did it . must wait to friday then can cor . cause meeting ma . hmmm ,, so . after that ,, must PERSEVERE again . maybe one week meet once or what lorr . liidat better . then ii can put down le. wahaha !

wriite till here ba . also nothiing to tork about now . take care my GALFRENS ~

hmmm ,, ii'm bored .

hmmm ,, my farking mother mood swiing siia . last nite use internet scold scold scold . my brother torking on the phone she also scold scold scold . haiis . ii go outside put thiings inside my school bag she also scold . haiiyo . dunno how to sae her sia . then this morning only cannot hear the alarm clock only she pinch me lehhs . so PAIN lorr . feel like SLAPPING her lorr sometimes . but i LOVE her too much la . she's simply such a GOOD MOTHER . omg . make me wanna puke .

hmmm ,, sians . today at school dunno why so tired then after recess is chemistry then mother tongue then sleep all the way . wahaha ! luckily never drool . paiseh paiseh . ahha ~ then around two plus going three lidat when ii was haviing afternoon lesson ,, HE called me . wahaha ! then ii didn't know fer what cause ii couldn't piick up and then was so excited la . wahaha! after school le then call him back then lidat lorr . tork so normal la . haiis . sians . thought what sia . wahaha !

hmmm ,, then now currently chatting with him on msn . so happy . NO WORDS CAN EVER DESCRIBE . SEE THIS !? ahha ~ hmmm ,, sians la . i wanna shout and scream tuhh the whole world ii love him and ii miss him . no one can ever replace him . LISTEN TO THIS KKS . so guys please stop pestering me . ii've had enough of all those nonsense . wad ii wan now iis him and only him . i promiise .

ii'm missing him . d0es he kn0w ?

so happy ,, bought my boots but feel so slut and bitch . haiis .. and cheap too . ): been t0 yuru's blog . sae defeng tagged . hmmm ,, wondering whether he will ever c0me viiew miine ? she's s0 different fr0m me . she's s0 f0rtunate . haiis . hmmm ,, b0ught the b00ts cause ii w0n money from soccer . but the guy say he pay fer me 50 so am happy . haiis . but on the way home ,, he ask me lie so lie lorr . but feeling so cheap . but ii dun dare reject . haiis . he made me have the feeling of being l0ved . like the past defeng ii kn0w . s0 caring and sweet . but ii kn0w he will only be a substitute of him and only fer a m0ment .. when ii wake up ,, all dreams will be g0ne . haiis . ii dun wanna hurt 0ther party . haiis .

hmmm ,, haiis . am missing him so much . dun have the courage tuhh message him and cor him . ii ask lu thurs or when g0 take ne0print . wahaha~ BUDDY FER LIFE ! RETARDED THUMB BUDDY . sure make him take one thumbs up de . wahaha ~ dun di siao le . later he angry he dun want help me le . haiis .

have rejected all th0se ji0ing me le . cause ii feel iif my heart iis wiith hiim ,, n0body can ever replaced iit . ii only need hiim and that's enuff. ii'm sure fer now . hmmm ,, siians la . so damn happy . bought my boots . lalala ~ iif he's back wiith me ,, ii w0uld be more happy . but can't blame anyone else but me . haiiyo . haiis . haiis .. sians . dunno why suddenly feel so eager tuhh bl0g . wahaha ~ dunno lehhs .

ii din put password anymore because am waiiting fer someone tuhh view it and waiting fer the someone to tagged . no matter what that someone write ,, ii would be happy too . because ii wanna let him know how ii feel . thiis iis where ii would sae all these truthful words that ii wanna tell him but din have the courage tuhh tell him . haiis . ii miis him and love him . if ii could turn tym back or iff there's another chance ,, ii w0uld cherish him and will not ever d0 such silly thiings agaiin . ii keep doiing all those silly and childish things . haiis . STOP IT KAMMY !!! EUU NEED TUHH PUT A STOP TO IT !!! if not ,, euu wouldn't even be frens with him ii tell euu . euu gonna lose everything euu have now .

ALWAYS THE SILLY GER EUU KNOW ((:

br0ken_hart

border="0" alt="image and video hosting by TinyPic">

haiis .. wad tuhh sae . happy n0 m0re . tuday first day 0f school and it's damn b0red ok . haiis . so sad . message hiim tuday . haiis. ask hiim fer patch . he dun wan . *sobsob* kena rejected . siians . but nvm . all that ii wan and ii care is him . haiis . anyway ,, dun wanna keep saying bout it . ii know when tyms comes ,, he will come back . ii promiise ii will wait . hmmm ,, siingle siimply rawks my liife . but wiith him by my siide would be better of c0urse . (:

haiis . currently wanna message hiim but dun have the c0urage ,, scared he finds me irritatiing and like ii keep pesteriing hiim . listening tuhh every song that has our memoriies . SHAN HU HAI . weets ~ haas . haiis. anyway ,, ii shouldn't brood over it . hmmm ,, just let nature take its course . sometimes , ii wiish ii was like Yuru . haiis . she can persevere well . not to message him . but she got message him anot ii also dunno la . haas . and can dun meet him although she miss him so much and wanted to see him so much . wonder how she did it ? haiis . PERSEVERE . euu can do it KAMMY !

haiis . today going aljunied then after that going TOWN . wahaha ~ shop fer my boots . happy like fark . win money ma . bet on soccer . wahaha ~ can euu imagine ? am l0ving it . but ii'm sure won't get addicted . n0 w0rries ya ? *thumbs up* hmmm ,, LU iis my BUDDY . yay ! retarded thumb . wahaha ! sians la .

LU ,, if euu happen tuhh read my bl0g ,, next tym got pon ,, must jio kks .

feel like goiing to w0derland tuhh fiind alice . LOLS ! think only baby ,, sab and nat knows what ii'm torking about . wahaha ~ dun sc0ld me . i'm just curious ok ! but ii know iif ii go find ,, he will hate me more . doing more and more stupid things .

things ii wanna do ...

``put new tattoo . to cover up of course . (:

`` buy slippers ,, heels .

`` buy clothes

`` to work and work and work so as to shop to shop to shop and of course to forget forget forget him.

`` to stop doing all those silly stuff tuhh let him hate me more .

`` dun ask fer much . remain the way things are now .

so much so much tuhh do now . most of all ,, i'm gonna bathe now , wahaha ~ going aljunied la . bye everyone !

AM II REALLY HAPPY ? HOPE SO .

hmmm ,, yesterday went tuhh meet someone then he treated me swensen and all then went tuhh cine tuhh meet my silly dancer . my apology tuhh her tuhh let herr waiit so long .

and ii saw grace . LONG TYM NO SEE HUH ! LOL . hmmm ,, then they went rush cause huiling bdae . sorry uh ~ ii din went because waiit fer thiis and dat then no tym le . haiis .

then ii went tuhh cuppage with the someone ii meet and ii heard news that DEFENG was beaten up . so worried . OMG . dun let me see them . ii'm sure i'll whack them up ! malayu BARBIE . knn . hate malays lorr . nbcb . beat my beloved . hmmm ,, then saw them at cuppage . they came .then the someone ii meet went off le and we slack there all the way .

hmmm ,, after cuppage ,, we went tuhh fat mama eat . he didn't tork tuhh me all the way . because he was so damn angry of me . ii was giiving hiim attitude again . but ii was also angry ma . sae until like dun wan meet me lidat then ii keep si chan lan da . so sad de lehhs . haiis ,,

just couldn't control myself . slap slap . haiis . then after fat mama ,, we went tuhh seven eleven bus stop there . then we slack and tork . suddenly feel like drinking so ii ask SAB help me buy e33 . haiis . train lorr . then feeling troubled ma . hmmm ,, then drink abit high le ,, broke the glass and start tuhh cut myself . *shiiok* sia . LOLS . psycho . then they keep scolding . then HE seems tuhh be more angry with me . but he bought me plaster and water tuhh wash . so touched . but ii just act like nothing la .

hmmm,, then after seven eleven ,, they wanted tuhh go home le . they plan tuhh take cab so ii wanted tuhh take train . so ii walk towards ps . after walking ,, dun feel like going home so went back find them but they already went off le then ii use a stranger fone tuhh call them cause hp no batt . then ii walked towards cine lorr . then saw him and ah boy together ,, but kay siao like dunno them then keep walking . then they follow lorr . then they ask me wan go long john ma . but dun feel like lehhs . later weird weird de . he so angry with me . then they walk off le . then ii was thinking ii got nowhere tuh go le lehhs . then go fiind them lorr .

after long john ,, they going back home then ii again dun want go with them . cause he at long john already all the way dun wanna tork tuhh me le . then they just went off lidat . then ii suddenly feel like seeing him ,, tuhh hug him tiight . haiis . then went tuhh his house lorr . siians .then he made me laugh . so happy .. sometimes feel so happy with him but sometimes feel like slapping him lorr. paikia paikia . wa lau eh . hmmm ,, then he tell me how the MALAYU BARBIE beat him ,, feel so heart pain so help him rub lorr . then sleep all the way till evening went home le . hees . happy . hmmm ,, that's all ba.

oh my goodness ,, going school reopen le . feel so shag sia . haiis . hmmm ,, dun feel like . sians de lorr . hmmm ,, then dun thiink ii wanna go out so often after school reopen le . think only going out on thurs ,, fri and sat . so gers ,, if euu all wanna meet me ,, must book a week before kks . if not will be fully book le . cause ii monday, tues, after school going help tutor then after that go home lorr. then wednesday going gorenf pisang . ahha ~ sunday is because monday got school . wahaha ~ siians la . school .

write till here ba . missing so much ppl . all running inside my head . ain't euu gers and HIM tired ? wahaha ~ love euu gers ! euu gers siimply rawks my life !

BOREDOM

currently ish at baby house with defeng and lulu . bored la . miss even though he is here with me . lols. ~ lalala* sians la . that's all . haiis .

NO MORE

haiis . stupid de me go sae break . stupid stupid . ARGHHH . haas . no more le . haven't even one week yet ii like that . dunno what happen tuhh me also . haiis .

hmmm ,, haiis . dunno what tuhh sae . now dun wanna fall in love again .

now who currently jioing me ?

let me tell euu all ba . haas

`aaron

`wee wee

`bastard(darius)

`xiaohei

`esmond

think should be no more le ba . sians . think wee have the higher chance . ((:

ahha , but better is dun get into a relationship la . LOVE SUCKS . and ii know. ii dun wanna get hurt another time . i'm sick and tired of this shit . i'm feeling so shit . LOLS .

TESTING TESTING . ARGHHHH !

currently is on testing with him now . although a little bit reluctant . hmmm ,,

actually alot of things wanna blog but i'm lazy lols .

will update euu all more when 22nd june come ok . that's when we will tell each other our decision . lols . it's a PROMISE . lols.

I DUNNO WAD I WANT

defeng used lewis fone and message me and ask me tuhh try one week . he said he dun wan tuhh be like the past . if not happy together then dun be together . haiis . but i rejected . euu may say i'm stupid . but what is that ? ONE WEEK ? dun make my toes laugh la . sometyms think again ,, dunno whether ii really want to be with him anot . isn't now very good ? i ken be with him ,, and i ken go flirt around too . i want meet who jiu meet who . i dun wanna lose my frens and tyms that i'm working without him in my life . euu all may say i'm stupid . patch back with him also can meet frens and work wad . but of course i wanna spend more tyms with him . which make me meet my frens less often . and as for work ? i can't work in a pub like i used to . which means i have less income . haiis . dunno wad ii want also . feel like slapping myself sometyms . then when i told him ii dun wan wad one week or wad de he didn't reply le . haiis . think he sleep le ba . then until now i haven't cor him . haiis . everytime also i cor him meet him de . he claim that he still love me but he dun take the initiative tuhh meet me all . this call love ? hur ~ wad a joke .
















haiis . enough about HIM . i'm tired of his guessing game . actually i just intend tuhh make this blog very long . like wad grace sae . the slides are blocking my tag board . lols. but am a bit lazy euu knoe . i'm a lazy girl . lols . sians . later going work again . no money uh . after this week ,, i'm gonna quit boat quay there le . which means more tym tuhh go out . *yeah* hmmm ,, but no money is one problem la . after i take my pub de pay ,, i'm going tuh put a new tattoo to cover up mine and to but boots . *thumbs up* haas . there goes my money . lols . haas .












this week dunno when i'm going to east coast with defeng de family . dunno he will go along anot . he sae yes yes yes but he everytime last minute chu spot de . lols . hmmm ,, haiis . miss him dunno why , stupid stupid me . hope tuhh be like grace . stop contacting him . ren ren ren. haas . i really wanna lead the happy life of me . haiis .. why can't i be happy like others ? like jammy ,, so sweet . haiis . i know they may sae we didn't see the part when they quarrel . but at least they still bother tuhh quarrel . haiis . i want him back but when he sae what one week or wad ,, it really breaks my heart . <3

HAPPY ((:

hmm ... todae went tuhh meet defeng de sister ... went tuhh far east . eat and shop . bought clips and earrings . haas ,, happy .

after that bought things for him tuhh eat then he ate lorr .. then watch vcd toogether . happy la . understand how happy ii am ? ii am sure ii am going tuhh be happy again .

hey frens .. sorry . think i've left euu all out lately . busy with my work ... then if no work keep wanting tuhh meet HIM . haiis . really sorry but euu all really are still in my mind . and i love euu guys forver . this ii promise . i promise once i am free ,, i'll cor euu guys again . maybe after i put down all my work load . muackks . <3

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

http://widget-c3.slide.com/widgets/slideticker.swf" quality="high" scale="noscale" salign="l" wmode="transparent" flashvars="site=widget-c3.slide.com.com&channel=5043907" width="700" height="220" name="flashticker" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"/>

LAZY LAZY

feeling lazy tuhh blog lately . but kelly always want me tuhh post . haiis . sians .

later going work lorr . recently contact back with my primary school fren Christina . later meeting her so currently i'm at home waiting fer her arrival . hmmm . slow la she . then later going tuhh help my mama de fren de nu er tuition . haas . then go boat quay . i'm gonna be rich . see !

haiis . guys ,, i didn't do wad ii said . i said not tuhh meet him but ii still meet him . but ii just couldn't control those farking hands tuhh message him when my fone have money la . haas . siaos . people got Yuru liao . see their frenster so en ai . kiss here kiss there . laopo laogong here and there . go and bother bout em' fer what sial . i should do what he sae . to BLESSED him . and he'll BLESSED me too . haiis. sians la .

write till here la. i want go take photo on my phone le . ahha . see euu guys .

GRACE ,, i've make my post colourful . smile =)

*thumbs up*

SICK AND TIRED OF MAII LIFE ...

haiis . went tuhh work yesterday ,, make a fool of myself again . got drunk . make spoil Kelly's shoe then broke a glass there ,, haiis . 'hao hao yi ge ren wei shen me gei wo nong dao zhe yang' ? haiis . sad larr .








meet defeng lorr ,, then he take care of me lorr . *happy* but it doesn't last long larr . because there's still things that we can't do . he has gf de worr . but i'm already satisfied . dun be greedy . haas . hmmm,, go cuppage . seh seh still can play dota lehhs . aiseh . weets . haas . hmmm . very xun ku yesterday lorr . head is like going tuhh burst lerr . first tym keep vomitting . then very tired . promise not tuhh drink that much again . SWEAR !!














haiis . although now still got abit de not feeling well but still need tuhh go work uh . haiis . no money bo bian and also dun dua ppl lorr . haiis ,, sadded . phone no money lorr !! ah ha . good chance not tuhh message him . *yeah* hmmm . write till here ba ,, gotta prepare fer work lerr .


















ALL MY LIFE IS TO WORK AND WORK AND WORK .. HAIIS -

- D E A D -

hmmm ,, here tuhh post again . sians . going work soon lerr . waiting fer Kelly . the princess ,, lols . hmmm . sians sians sians .














about defeng ? haiis . i think we just be frens better . realli . think when he want meet then meet lorr . if he dun wan ,, then forget it . dun have tuhh feel sad . anyway ,, like wad Pei pei sae, ii should thank him . thank him fer making me know what is love .








hmmm ,, think write until here ba . update euu guys again . living a fucked up life . haiis .

HIS DECISION ...

he went back tuhh her . isn't this what i want ? why am ii still so sad ? still thinking about it ? why is he avoiding me ? couldn't we be frens ? does he still love me ? still care fer me ? as before ? i wanted tuhh ask him alorrt of questions . but when i meet him , see his face , all this questions disappeared into thin air . went to see his profile and her profile . haiis . so sweet . shall not disturb them anymore .




MY DECISION
``to put him down and not tuhh meet him anymore .

`` wait for another better guy tuhh appear . but if he's willing tuhh come back , i'll wait . but i'm not sure how long i'll wait . just before the good guy appear ba .

`` just concentrate on my studies ba .

``DO YOU ALL THINK I CAN DO IT ?






i'm falling and falling . dunno how long i ken hold on tuhh . i'm not strong anymore . i'm DEAD . i wish tuhh be like a butterfly . tuhh fly endlessly . to seek fer my dreams . take care my dear frens. i'm sick and tired of everything . MY LIFE [[FULLSTOP]]

I'M WILLING ...

thanks everybody fer tagging into my blog . although there's only grace , kelly and alicia . haas . missing euu guys .




df , i really willing tuhh back off . i dun wanna see euu so xin ku and confused . i wanna see the happy euu . if we are fren and we are more happy this way , why not ? and she's someone who won't kare bout euu . euu would have ur freedom . so why not ? if she's not willing tuh back off ,, let me be the one .alright ? do not bother about me . i'm sick and tired of everything . simply TIRED . how i wish euu could get out of my life . but euu never . euu kept running here and there . aren't ruu tired . i'm tired seeing euu ,. BACK OFF .










gonna work at boat quay soon . dunno will adapt not . cause go see lerr like all paikia lidat . sians de lorr . later fight fight fight de . haiis . so i tell dem say i try one week then after dat i run . lol .




hmmm . i can be happy . i wanna be happy . i dun wanna think so much lerr . i wanna lead my life like others . so normal and thinking of nothing .
















i'm a ATTITUDE girl . dun try to change me . because i am who ii sae ii am . nobody can change that . not even EUU !

SCARDED**

when ii just reach home today , my brother told me that she broke off with him . and she came tuhh view my blog . but how was that possible ? b'cuz she son't even have my password . that's why ii changed my password and when i went tuhh see their friendster , it was still very normal and my heart feel happy . if not i would feel guilty de . haiis . forget about it .


broke off with ANDY lerr . haiis . i'm sorry . but i'm really sorry . i'm not ready yet . euu are really good tuhh me. but i just couldn't . haiis . just tuhh sae sorry .



now rushing tuhh boat quay interview le then go meet grace , baby lerr . missing them badly . haas . update again next tym . gotta make my hair . haas .

shattered ...

just what the hell am ii thinking ? i'm with ma bf and there ii am thinking of euu . ken euu just stop running around ? aren't euu tired ? i see , i also tired . "xing da pei bei shang . zhiong shi zai wo xin jiao cha ." haiis . ii am feeling fortunate and miserable the same time . how ii wish we could go back tuhh the past .will euu ? i'm willing . no matter how hard it is . but ii know euu won't . why are euu still wearing my ring ? why did euu still put our photo ? i liked it but ii hated it too . haiis . i'm really messing up my life and others life . what should i do ?





missed daniel kor kor . when are euu coming back ? i need ur advise . so lost . so lost . happy that euu would still write tuhh us . sad that euu two weeks only got one letter . sad that i could not go and visit euu . i'm leading my life miserably . do euu know that . i'm waiting fer euu . but how long must i wait ? why am i always waiting ? i need your listening ear. are euu there ?





SNOWBELL...
stop saying that i disappoint euu. i'm tired . really tired. euu always find fault with others . think euu are so perfect . everybody do make mistakes . it's not that euu got no frens . euu are really a very good sister and frens but it's over now. i dun wish tuhh tork about and i've leave ur life . stop pestering me and i wun pester euu anymore . I"M OUT!





DEFENG ...
ken euu please stop giving me hope and push me into the hell again ? i hated this . are euu really happy with her ?! i'm not happy with him . i ... i got nth tuhh sae . but thanks fer making feel that euu still care fer me . i'm happy . i ... haiis . let's end here ba .

CONFUSED-

yesterday before i go meet my dear , i chatted with defeng on msn . hais . chatted alorrt . suddenly still feel that i missed him . haiis . i still can't forget him .

then after i meet my dear , he made me happy . i love him but i feel that my heart ish nort totally with him . i dunno y . and dunno what i'm thinking . messing up my life again . haiis . why is this happening tuhh me ?! i dun like it!!!!

today never go out the whole day . cause i promise my mama lerr . siians . but alrite larr. got com at home . hahas . finally waited till this day . write till here barr .

QUARRELL !!

haiis . yeasterday quarrel with my dear . cause ii dun want let him see maii fone then he angry . then he angry , i angry with him then together angry . lol .haiis .siians .

went out with him go cine but see many frens. then when ii meet jaslin and belle , snowbell nort happy . then siians . then dearr want go zouk but snowbell dun want . then snowbell say want go watch movie , dear say ok . then dear help snowbell pay . cause she no money . then dear pay her cab fare also . LOL .sometimes i feel she is his stead lorr . haiis . but ii know they very good la. until one day , i really kennort i dunno what i'll do . LOL.

life is full of miracles . but the miracle i long and hope fer , ish nort here yet .

that time at cine , somebody told me yuru keep looking at us on the top level . just wanna sae , ken euu please mind your own business and get the hell out of ma life ! i'm living happier now WITHOUT HIM !!

haiis . MESSED UP LIFE

everybody may say that im a strong girl but i am not. i dunno why when i see the two of euu together i will feel unease . have ii realli forgotten ? i'm nort sure .

everything i do now is a mess . dunno why i'm messing up my life like hell . hmmm. but i've already have a bf liiao . i know i shouldn't be selfish and tuhh cheriish the one ii have now which ii am trying my best .

ANDY--

i never regret being with euu . but if euu ever do ,, euu have tuhh tell me .i'm sorry of how i've treated euu tuhh make euu feel euu are nort important tuhh me as the phobiia of guys ish still there . but i truly love euu .

hao larsh . enuff of rubbish . i MUST be CHEERFUL no matter what happen becus ii know he will be by my side . gotta rush tuhh work now .

bye!

hi everybody ! i'm here .

hey everyone . i'm back . hope i've not let euu all waited long . maii comp have just arrived as there's some problems . lols .




hmmm . so what happened today ish very siimple . lols . i meet snowbell , grace and maii bf today and we went to bishan then tuhh orchard . bought a pouch fer maii mother and bought a belt ferr maiiself . lols. must save money liiaos . siians . then we went tuhh tpy and slack . then went home lols.


maii boyfriend ish apparently giving me money so i dun have tuhh work so hard . lols . feel so fortunate having him by maii siide . love hiim narh . hmmm . think that's all ferr today . going sleep lerr . lols .