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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

to love or be loved?

today i head down to liquid empire for the first time. am glad i wasn't lost and found my way there. so proud of myself !! lol. but the journey from raffles mrt to there is damn farrrrr ~ it's like a journey to the west. okay~ i'm #justsaying. -.-

it was damn spacious compared to the past liquid definitely. it has three stories. first and second for customers drink, drank drunk and third is for people to rest. maybe like regulars and waitress who is really really damn drunk or not feeling well. place where we place our bags while working. :)

the steeeepest and scariest stairs was the stairs to go up to level 3. damn ~ i hop i better be sober everyday and walked with both my eyes open big !! i'm already very clumsy when i'm not drunk. when i'm drunk, even worst. already can foresee will roll down the stairs some day though. 死不了就还好吧?lol.

went down to ion orchard to get something for gracey with wifey as her birthday is coming soon. i tell u ahhh. choose present for this gracey is damn troublesome de. lol !!

wanted to buy accessories BUT... she earring cannot, will infection. necklace need pure gold if not will rashes. bracelet she already wearing two. she don't really wear watch. tell meeeee !! what to buy for her !!?? :O

me and wifey chose a long time between LV and prada. don't know which to buy until i call her and asked. lv or prada? haha. :3

bought "sth" for her which shouldn't be disclosed here just in case she came to read it. lol. wanted to bought another one but i "think", think only lah. she'd prefer this. lol.

anyway, she could just go back and change herself within 10 days if she doesn't like it ba. just top up a bit more? :D haha.

alright ~ after that head down to jab one and had a few drinks. really is few cause i can't drink much as i just had surgery done. maybe like drink two cups beer? lol.

then went for movie again !! movie marathon. haha. went to catch "i love hong kong 2012" niceeee !! but don't know why while watching towards the ending like my heart feel a bit sour sour. like don't know leh. like if really going end of the world , i'm like also not sure who i wanna spend my last moment with. i know ~ family of course but i'm sure many of u would definitely have that "someone" u love whom u wished to spend with too, right. at that point of time.... i was, lost. :(

well, anyway, i guess i should go back and talk about the title of my post, right? lol.

okay, it's like that. sometimes i wonder which is most happier? to love or to be loved? there is this saying that goes, "被爱是幸福的。"true? i'm sure everybody heards that before. or maybe most.

yesss and no indeed. yes , of course being loved by someone is happy cause u do not need to be afraid of getting hurt because u only accepts things from others and u do not give. u can throw temper as and when u like because u do not care. u can just ignore him as and when u like because u got no feel for him. u can meet other guys and he meets other girls cause u totally don't give a shit.

whereas , to love someone, u keep giving without expecting things to return is hurtful. u love and u care so much that u selfishly wants to just keep that person all just by yourself that u don't want other people to talk to, to smile to, to even looked at. don't even mention going out together.

sometimes i feels that love can be so scary. why must we even have love? why must we have one partner? is it a must? why can't we just be alone? we were born alone and we leave this world alone. why must we hurt the other party when we depart from this world?

okay, let's not drift too far about leaving this world. why must we even hurt the other party when we once, loved that he / she so much at first. be it quarrels, breakups. why must ther be tears and heartaches in a relationship. if that's the case, why can't we just be alone? why can't we just stand being lonely?

for me, i don't really feels that being loved is exactly happier. to love and be loved by the person u love is the happiest. but yet, in this life, across billions and zillions of people on earth. how many times do u really met this kind of situation? most of the times is just that u love that person more or the other person loves u more. it is never fair.

just wanna say, if u really foun urself loving and being loved by someone u love. cherish it , before it's too late. mine was already too late. it should be taught a lesson to me dearly. BUT... 我怎样都学不会。:( i am still me. i did not change at all. i still throw temper and gave my shitty attitude to people i care, who is important to me.

i still keep saying i wanna leave whenever i feels insecure and whenever i feels that the other party doesn't love me as much as i love him. yes, i admit. i'm selfish, i'm timid. i don't wanna love someone more than he loves me. because i'm afraid. i'm afraid of losing someone dearly again. i hate that feeling. but yet again, when i think back again, i'm actually hurting myself more.

yes, people do say we need to think ahead for our future but yet again. who knows, who knows what will ever happens in the future? who knows i'll still be blogging or even texting my friends tmr? i may not wake up the very next day. sometimes i feels that yes , maybe i think too much and i should seriously stop all that shit.

maybe i've grown up too late but i feels that things should just be the way it is now. if u're happy. :) we should sometimes really not think too much. if it is yours, it would be yours eventually. :)

i'm learning.... still learning. :) alright, some people may agree or disagree with the things i've said here. but already said, this is my blog, my say. i'm just voicing out what i felt deep down in my heart. a place where i can pen down all my thoughts and feelings be it people agree with me or not. :)

i'm heading to bed soon. tired. just feels like starting work soooon and not think so much bout anything. just work, sleep and catching up with friends.

fuck love, fuck hate. fucked up life. lol. enjoy the pictures people. :D till then...

Sunday, January 29, 2012

today; 28 jan 2012

nothing much bout today. went to bukit timah and bai nian and played 2 rounds of mahjong. ^^

first time play mahjong lose so much !! :x hahaha. but is okay nahhh ~ new year mah. ended about 2 plus and everybody is tired. but now heard the sounds of mahjong and i'm tempted much again. :x LOL !!

hmmm, nothing much to update. felt very tired of everything that i don't even wanna bother to say out already. just wanna... let it be. haha. realise that the more u wanna solve things and the more u want things to go ur way, it just won't so why not, just leave it like that? :) haha. soooo optimistic. i know right ~ hahahahaha.

have been to bukit timah a number of times already. wonder whether was it him seding me secret signals telling me that he miss me and it's been kind of awhile since i last went to visit him. haha. but then again, he should be anywhere, everywhere, anytime looking at me, right? sigh.

i miss him. :( alright alright ~ let the peeeekchuressss do all the talking now. :) goodnight again people. xoxo.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

not satisfied

hello people !! i'm here today with pictures of myself , half a face with make up and half a mace without. ^^

haha. and of course some few shots of myself , my zilian pictures. :D i edited the photos all together of course if not u guys gotta scroll until ur fingers cramp. u can't really stop me if i'm in a good mood to take pictures especially of myself. i'll just spam and spam and spam and it goes on and on and on. lol.

alright. moral of this story, my whole post is that we girls are never satisfied of ourself. people always asked, u're already not ugly what. why wanna make up and spoil ur complexion and waste time waste money? BUT....

who doesn't wanna make themself more pretty , right? we wanna leave good first impression to others too, right? the so called if guys love u, they will love your everything is still BULLSHIT !!

what the truth is , first impression always does matter. i mean, would u even make an effort to know a girl more if she doesn't dress up and make up? the answer is NO !! u wouldn't even look at her one more time.

and when some day, u seen her dressing up and making up looking all pretty , u then realise how beautiful she was and regret all ur actions and thinking, it's all gonna be too late !!! lol.

therefore guys , never looked down on a plain jane. we're all humans , we're not perfect. we all will look good if we bother and make the effort to dress up. :)

and girls , don't ever be too lazy or have the traditional thinking of, "it's okay not to dress up. if guys love me, they will love my everything." this is all bullshit. sometimes we just gotta face the fact and be a bit more realistic. sigh.

anyway, summary for today, went to catch a movie, 龙众舞 and then went to geylang lor 13 to see see maybe my new workplace. haha. maybe gonna go there and try being a singer. lol.

i love to sing and has never try before working something like this. so maybe can try out if it suits me? ^^ haha. do give some support when i'm more familiarise with the place. don't come when i'm only a newbie lah. will shy u know. must warm up first. haha.

after that, head down to jab one and have some drinks with friends. i didn't drink as i just had surgery few days/weeks ago. just went down to catch up, sing song and drink green tea. haha. *good girl*

after that, head down to cineleisure and watch movie AGAIN WITH THE SAME CLIQUE i went earlier on. haha. movie marathon yo ~ :p
catch the "journey 2 the mysterious island" this time.

not too bad in my point of view the two shows above. ^^

alright, enough of saying. can't wait to start work immediately though. liquid empire is opening back soon too. gonna get myself soooo busy already. :D

still haven't got a chance to head down to the new liquid empire and take a look. definitely gonna be so lost when it opens. don't think i even know how to walk there from boat quay. haha.

alright, it's getting "early" already. it's 6 in the morning already. good mornight people and hope u guys enjoyed reading. byeeee ~ will update again. :)

p.s/ the photos may not be in sequence. ^^

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

too bored... don't laugh at me ahhh ~ :3

before you people start playing my youtube own singing, if you're using desktop,
please go to the bottom and pause the songs first nah. heehee ~ :D

actually i did a few videos before that. only the recent ones more
can show people lah cause got make up mah. LOL.

the rest was i did it few years back (okay, not really yearssss but maybe year? lol. :x) and a few was weeks back without any make up. hurhurhur ~

ehhhh , sorry lah. but i really bored at home. :(
waiting to go bai nian now.

Anyway, took a few stupid pictures also. 
firstly was with only half a face with make up.
then whole face. wanna tell people there is no ugly
people in this world. only lazy people. is see you all
wanna make and put in the effort or not. Haha.

Forgot to take my naked first at first before I thought of it. Hurhurhur ~ so sorry loh, too bad loh. for people who hates me and wanna say how ugly i am before make up.
neh neh ni poo poo ~ :p 

BUT THEN.... the photos all inside my phone neh. see tonight free or not blog again with those photos ba. ^^
but will not be in sequence though. cause i insert the photos liao only can either delete or just leave it there. -.- LOL.

Alright, another one more video before i leave. :)
hope you people enjoy. anyway, also a few songs that i wanna express how i'm feeling now. 

k k , go bai nian already byeeee ~ :D

cb !!! don't know why youtube put these as thumbnail photo of this video.
lan jiao bin loh jitao. :x LOL.
k lah ~ enjoy ! bye bye byeeee ~ :)

uttering and blabbering nonsense...

had steamboat dinner just now at my grammy's place. been so long since i last had steamboat at her place... miss it sooo much. that feeling, with all of my cousins. haha. :)

anyway, first time i'm using this blogger app to update my blog. since i have this app now, no such excuse about lazy to update my blog already. lol.

went to kbox at broadway plaza just now with my cousins and mummy just now as we were really too bored and no plou glam. what a boring new year this year. more and more not anticipating bout my new year as i grow older. my ang baos money shrinking anyway. hate to grow up. sooner later , will be my turn to give out money and i hate that shit !! :( *if only i successfully found my soul mate* lol.

anyway, actually blogged quite a lot just now right before this post. typed out quite a number of song lyrics that best describe what i'm feeling now, my love life maybe? haha.

been trying very very very hard to move on u know. :( nvm, i know. just can't seem to find the right one. and when i feels that i've finally meet the right one, all my childish act comes out again. okay, seriously... i know not much people can take up all these shit personality that i have. but sometimes , i just felt like i have no control over my mind and my body and brain. gosh!! i wish i were dead at times. better of that way.

yaaa , anyway... talking bout that really made me piss. cause i'm using ipad to listen to the mv and typed it out word by word in chinese using phone. the reason for it disappearing and not posting it here, right now is because.....

u know there's this problem with iphone... sometimes u use until damn shiok already, it suddenly jumps out to the home screen and everything that u're doing halfway.. IS NOT SAVED !! bloody hell !!!

that's why... there it goes... tsk ! -.- and the problem with this app here now, is that, it's totally different from blogging using ur desktop.

okay, u know right, for those people who blogged, while u were typing, will auto save right, so that IF ANY CASE, anything or any shit happens, u could still go back to your draft and continue. well for this case, the mobile doesn't !! sigh ~ and the photos i uploaded using mobile also don't know in sequences or not.

whatever it is and nevertheless, i'm srill here, blogging and bullshitting. lol. i think i better not say too much cock just in case it jumped out again and.... fml !! lol. don't think will be blogging already if that's the case. >.<

will typed out the lyrics once again one day when i'm free like today. will be sending my resume to new place tmr !! hopefully could start a normal day job life and liquid empire to start soooon. the. i day and night would be working and keep myself busy from restraining to think so much about nonsense and money keeps rolling rolling in ! :D

yeps, that's about all the bullshit i guess. oh ya, one more thing. i actually hope that twitter could actually let us choose the post that we wanna linked to our fb. cause u know i felt like taking off the link from my fb already. i wanna tweet and say what i wanna say and feels right now. but.... some things can't be linked to fb and let the whole world knows right?

though... alot people is using twitter already... but yet ! some are not using what !! haha. so anyway, just saying for the sakw of saying. hopefully twitter will have something just like foursquare to tick which website we wanna publish to and whether this, particular post we wanna link or not. boooo ~

anyway, i'm tired already. hope u guys enjoy reading my nagging. though it's rubbish. just uttering and blabberig nonsense cause i felt so alone today and lonely. like i've never talked to someone for a long time. *which is not true, cause i just said went to grammy's place for reunion dinner and to sing k.... -.-* ahhh , whatever it is , just feel like talking non stop lah. lol. whether to read it or not is ur choice. never force u people to continue reading too, right? lol.

alright, i said i better not say so mich in case it jumped to home screen suddenly and yet i'm still blabbering away. i'm gonna go sleep now and will blog again soon people. sooo tired. nights. xoxo. :D