i want that assurance. i want to know that i am someone important. i want to know that i did make ur life beautiful and colourful and maybe wonderful.
i don't want to keep having thoughts about whether u'll be falling for another girl. whether when i'm here missing u, would u be missing other people. whether am i someone to u cause u always don't bother about what i ever told u. about my work related stuffs , about where i am, what i'm doing.
i just want u to be more concern about me. about what's going on. i know u might be busy and tired at work. i am trying to be considerate too.
i always wanna let u sleep a bit more when the alarm rings in the morning. and yet i'm afraid u might wake up late and it's kinda like my fault for not waking u up. i wanna wake u up and not let u get back to sleep but it just seems to me like i'm disturbing ur rest.
i do not know what to do anymore that at times , i so much wanted to see u, just to sleep beside u and hugging u to sleep. i don't mind taking cab in the middle of the night over just to see u and then slowly take a train back in the morning BUT yet again, i do not want to disturb ur sleep.
i miss us , i miss those days when we can stay the whole day at home just to watch show. or to meet friends tgt then home. or u going to work and i waited. and u came back immediately after ur work. that's the period of time where i felt my importance. where we were happy.
i know things turned out this way were mostly my fault. i don't blame anyone else but me. right now, there's too many broken pieces between us amd i just don't know what to do and how.
many a times i just feel like not caring about those things and just carry on with the way we are but yet i know , things ain't the same anymore. if it can't be solved now, it seriously cannot go any further.
i'm lost right now, very lost. what happened to us. so does this even mean we are not meant to be? but why does my heart tells me that we are?
can we, just talk things out someday? i really feels like talking to you some day about us, about everything. but u always seemed so tired to me. i didn't want to add on stress to u about us cause i know u're stress with work already.
thinks that u do that made me more angry was that, i gave up myself meeting u cause i thought ubwere tired. i didn't wanna be unreasonable and made u tired about always having to meet me and spare a thought for me. that's why no matter how much i wanna see u, i always tell myself, it's okay. if u really wanna see me , u will say and we will meet and many times , i really just want u to go home and rest after ur work. BUT....
in the end... u told me u went to drink, u told me u were out with ur friends. i was like.... dumbfound. u didn't even asked if i wanna meet. maybe.... maybe u thought if i wanna meet i'd say and yet i'm here waiting for u to say it too. i don't know.
i don't know if we could ever be the same or better or worst, i don't know? just wanna say, u're someone i did care. and i don't know what will happen to us and what has happened to us. just wanna say.... till i meet someone new who can make everything different, it's still you... and him.
will we be ever to build up all the broken pieces together again? although there's definitely still be cracks but at least we know we tried? hmmm....
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