kammygkx

sorry people for going missing for this period of time.
went to reflect on myself a little and to cool myself
down a little. can't be always facing the computer with
a pool of tears running down my cheek.
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i thought i could only saw car overturning or flipping
over for a few times. didn't really cross my mind that
it would happen to us. whenever i saw car overturning
in movie or show , i would think back , is that the same
thing happening to us? and then i realised , i killed my boyf.
i actually killed someone i love so much. if only i didn't drive.
if only i never pass my license. if only we didn't make a trip
there. there's so much if only but now , it can only be if only.
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i really hate myself so much. why didn't i make a stand
of not making a trip there. i'd rather quarrell with you
than this kind of thing to happen.
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i always told myself. i'd rather you're inside the jail now
while i'm out here waiting for you. at least i could write
letter to you and you could reply. at least i can still visit you
and talked to you with your family. or rather you leave me
because of other girls. at least i could still call you and scold you
and hear your voice. at least i could msg you and scold you waiting
for your reply.
if either of these happen , i could at least srill hope for your return ,
your hug , your warmth , your everything.
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i keep having weird dreams of you having another girl.
although i really hope is like that but the truth is not
so please stop giving me these weird dream to make me
feel worst can? i really hope to have sweet dreams with you
again. sad to be true , i can't be with you but can i at least
have some sweet dreams with you?
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people said it's good to reminisce the past , it's good to keep
someone special at a little place in your heart. but, why don't
i feel good at all?
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letting go and moving on seems to be the hardest thing for
me to do now. i don't know how long more i need still but
it seems like i'm the one not willing to let go.
i don't want to forget you. i'm not willing to let someone else
to replace you. i want to always wait for your msg , wait for
your call not somebody else. i want you to be waiting at home
for my return , not somebody else.
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i miss those days when we were out at bishan. although i always
complain it's always bishan bishan and still bishan , but everything's
fine with me as long as i'm with you. you understand?
i miss those days when you fetch me to school , wait for me to finish
school , fetch me to work , wait for me finish work , fetch me to
attachment and wait for me to finish attachment. i still want you to
fetch and wait for me. why didn't you do so?
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i don't know how long i'll rant complaining how sad i am
without you by my side. :( i'm afraid that one day i will no
longer mention your name on my blog and it'll be somebody
else. i'm afraid this day will come.
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25th august supposed to be our one year , 8 months anniversary.
it's been two months without you by my side. i really feel very empty.
i know it's only two months and as time goes by , i will feel better.
is that so? :(
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i really hope i could have you by my side going through
everything with me now. especially when my leg is injured
now. i want you concern. i want you to scream and shout at
me whenever i complain pain. i want you to be there to look
after me.
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tell me , what can i do to make you come back? i will do anything
for you to come back even if it meant this meaningless life of mine.
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i just hope to faster get back and stand on my feet again.
i wanna go and pay a visit to you soon.
loving you always soh weihao. :(