kammygkx

if only i can live like a dog.
if only i don't see you for two weeks
i will forget who you are.
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will i be living in lesser pain if that's
the case? i don't want to wake up
crying everyday, it makes a chore to wake up everyday.
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where will we go to when we are dead?
will we be always sleeping? or will we turn to spirit
like what others said?
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you always told me you saw ghost you saw ghost
but why can't i see you?
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i really feel like seeing you.
it's not getting any better each day.
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they say to put you in my heart and live
like how i used to everyday. you must be missing
how i used to be in the past , is it true?
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i dread going to hospital for check ups.
i dread waking up realising you're not here for me anymore.
i dread styaing at home everyday only to miss you and cry
and cry and cry.
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are you at a better place now?
can i not miss you?
can i not cry anymore?
can i... not wake up anymore?
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how nice would that be if only i can just sleep
and not wake up anymore.
how nice would that be if i could wake up
with you by my side someday.
how nice would that be if i passed away together
with you on the accident and we can forever be together.
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is there a way to make people die more easily?
rather than jumping off a building , i don't have the courage ,
rather than swallowing and overdosing , i don't like swallowing pills.
rather than hitting by a car , not all cars will hit and you'll die immediately.
rather than hoping to get a incurable disease ,
i might only got it years later and by the time ,
you might have already moved on.
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are you moving on? can you?
i really hope to know how you're doing.
how're you doing?
i don't want to talk to a dead computer.
i don't want to write to a stupid book when
you don't even see it.
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i've read and seen the news.
many people died when they don't want to.
trees falling , car accidents.
including you , you don't want to die too right?
you still got so many things to do , with me.
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now , why doesn't heaven take away those who wants
to die? those who miss their loved ones like how i do ,
those who are drug addicts , those who are totally useless ,
those who don't feel like living.
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can the end of the world come sooner?
i wanna see you.
can i just smoke smoke smoke and smoke and kena
cancer? or can lightning just struck me when i'm
sleeping at home?
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i don't know what to say anymore.
it's the same thing over and over again.
missing you , missing you and still missing you.
crying , crying and still crying. :(
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i know you hate to see me cry.
but is there a choice for me?
i don't like to cry too.
if there's a choice for me , i'd rather
you're at work now and i'm missing you.
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at least i still can see you few days time.
at least i still can receive your text and
hear your voice now. i really feel so empty
now. really empty. they said it's normal to
feel empty at times but why am i feeling it
like always?