kammygkx

hello everybody. i'm back at home. don't worry too
much. i won't do anything foolish. this is gonna be a
long post without pictures. it will be all about boyf love.
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the accident happened for about a month. i'm home
only until now. i just saw our wedding photos and i
really missed him much. had a chat with rachel just
now. cried. now then i know how much he loved me.
though i already know but i never expect him to cry
infront of rachel when he talked about our things.
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i really hope he could come and find and search for me
like how he always do when we quarrelled. i really miss him.
i really don't know what to do without him. sometimes i hope
i'm the one who passed away instead of him. he will definitely
be much stronger than me.
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i'm sitting on a wheelchair now. i hope tianhao and the rest would
help me on the 30th to bishan. i'm so sorry to trouble them but i really
hope to go down. i know they would definitely help. but i'm afraid i
couldn't control my emotion when i reach bishan. dear , will you be there?
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everybody said you're on the other world. but what does the other
world really look like? are you safe and sound down there? do you
miss me like how i miss you? you better wear my ring even if you
were to find another girl on the other world if not i would be so
angry with you. cannot buy another ring with her k. same with me
too. but don't worry , it won't be too soon for me.
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boyf love , i'm sorry i wasn't able to express my love to you when you're
alive. but what's the point of saying it now. will you be able to read this?
can you go online on the nether world? will you read my blog? though i
know you don't really like to go online. you always find it boring. but i hope
you could come and read my blog somehow. or maybe the diary at my home?
it's at the table where you always sit when you come. will you flip open and read?
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dear , i changed my facebook password. it's something to do about you.
i hope you would know. it isn't the old one which you used to know already.
i think you should know what the password is. you're so clever. come and
ask me if you don't know. :p
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i won't be changing my blog address just in case you can't find me cause
you're such a computer noob. haha. though i am one also but i'm a little
better than you. :x
i won't be cutting my hair anymore too cause you prefer me to have long hair
and always angry with me when i cut my hair.
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dear , why do you always make me make choice for you when you're
around? now i don't know what you like. we're all so lost without you.
i'm so afraid to take statement. i feel so upset whenever i'm being reminded
of the accident. i know you will handle better if you were the one who's alive.
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dear , sometimes i really wish to leave this world and be together with you.
but i can't leave my family and friends. sorry for being so selfish. i'm not strong
enough to be together with you. i don't wish them to be sad. i don't want them
to waste money and time for me to heal my leg then in the end i disappoint them.
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dear , there's so many things i wish to tell you. i regretted for not expressing
my love for you. i regretted for breaking up with you for a periiod of time the
other time. now , we do not even have the chance to watch firework together.
nvm , i will do everything together with your heart everytime.
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i really miss you darling. do come and find me soon alright? you chose 25 for
a reason and i think i know the reason. anyway , i will write letter to you on
every 25th. and i will burn everything to you when i'm able to walk. i will
go and find you at bukit timah when i'm able to walk. i hope to stay over at
your place every 25th. will you help me to talk to your mother about it?
i will asked your mother about it also. but i hope you will help me with it.
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dear , i'm still going ahead being a nurse. i'm sure i will be a better one.
don't you think so? do you agree with me being a nurse? are you helping
me with it cause i think they're taking me with the bond if i'm not wrong.
bbut you always disagree with me being a nurse cause i always kaopei
i'm tired and you always say to yang me. but now , you're not able to yang
me already. :(
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you always asked me to marry you but i always asked you to wait.
cause i'm still studying and i wanted the both of us to change.
i wanted to change my temper and i wanted you to change your beating
and gambling.
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although i didn't really express my love to you , but i guess you
can feel it right cause no matter how you beat me , i'm still back to you.
i still wait for you at your house downstair waiting for you to be back
when we quarrell.
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i'm glad that at least we went to taipei once, night safari once , singapore
flyer once , resort world once.
though some is not your first time and some is not my first time.
but still , some is both of our first time.
i really thank you. thank you for bringing me joy in my life.
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you tried to give me everything. even if i meant the world.
you also tried to give me.
you really try and i can see. sometimes i really feel you
but i just don't wannt express myself because i want my face
in another way also.
i always say i don't wanna marry you infront of your friends
but i really hope to. i just want to disturb you.
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i regret it. i should have said yes. if you're willing to wait for me
the other lifetime , i would say yes immediately. but i'm afraid you
won't. just like you didn't wait for me for 4 years.
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dear , we always sms and talk whenever you're at work. now that i'm
alone at home , i don't receieve your call and sms , i feel so weird. i really
feel so weird.
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i will update again. i know this post is more to boyf love.
but what to do , i really miss him alot alot like nobody can describe.
i dont know if anybody will understand how i feel but i really miss him
like crazy.
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i hate heaven. i hate heaven for bringing him away from me when we're
so deeply in love and our time together are so short. everybody love him
so dearly. why does heaven have to bring him away? :(