To move on or to stay at the same point?

i know when he just left, I told myself that I wanna continue

working at TTSH in future if I really wanna work as a nurse

because that's all the memories that we had among all hospital.

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we would go to ttsh whenever he's not feeling well. like , he's having

diarrhoea, or when he wanna have mc for work. Hahahahahahaha.

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I wanted to go back to goreng pisang and work when I'm going back to school

to study. I wanna continue to go back to Bishan and meet his friends whenever I can.

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Going to Bishan to meet his friends and slack is still okay.

cause we laugh, and joke around so there's never time for me alone

to think about him.

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I went back to goreng pisang to work just for a day and it caught me thinking,

whether I wanna move on or to stay at the same point.

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I went back to work ytd cause just nice sbtf's friend can't work and

I wanna work so badly that's why she helped me and I worked for a day.

Anyway, while working, got a timing where we would be quite free

so we were chatting away.

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I suddenly thought of those days when I was about to finish work and there

I would see his silly face waiting for me to finish work.

It was so heartwrenching, painful and difficult to fight back my tears.

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And I was thinking, do I really wanna make myself so painful by staying

at the same point and keeps get reminded of the things of him?

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As in, maybe I can move on?

Goes to another hospital and work?

Work elsewhere instead of pisang?

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But then again, I don't ever want to forget him.

I want to always remember him whether it's good or bad.

I need to grow up and face it.

I cannot start to avoid it.

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I know memories are good enough but it's still memories.

It still don't seems real.

I'm afraid I may ever forget his face.

I'm starting to forget how his voice sounds to me.

I'm starting to feel as if we both were never together before.

I'm starting to feel that I'm losing his love for me. :(

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Okay, whatever it is, I'm gonna stay strong and I'm staying put at where

I am cause I don't ever wanna forget those sweet, bitter, beautiful memories he's

given to me.

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Okay lah, stop being so emo already. Don't wanna make ppl tear

from reading my blog again. Now, picturesssss ~ :D

Camwhore a little at home as usual. LOL.

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You know now, other than camwhoring at home,

I did something even more stupid ! LOL.

I'm just too bored lah, no choice.

Have stop drama-ing these few days. No mood again.

Sot sot want lah me. Hahahahahahahahaha.

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I went to record my own singing on youtube and I publish it !

Yay ! So I'm on youtube now ! Holyyy ~

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

But I now got alot pimples lah.

So if you happen to search for it and you found it, please

don't laugh at my pimples. Can laugh lah, but don't put nasty comments

lah k? I'll sad. LOL.

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And the sound quality not very good.

That's why my singing not as good as usual !

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay lah okay lah, gotta admit, my singing is not

very nice lahhhh.

I just wanna be on youtube and make a fool out of myself. :x

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Okay, whatever, you all wanna see, go search yourself.

I'm not gonna post it here or on my facebook until i'm confident enough yo !

LOL.

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That's sbtf and I before going to Johnny's and Ying's wedding ! :D

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And that's me !!!!

Don't know why smile until like that also. Kns.

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And, I braid my fringe like that cause I wanna air my pimples lah.

in the end went there, everybody talks about my pimples instead

of my legs. Hahahahahahahahahha. (Y)

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Okay, I think that's about all. I'll see what I'm going to blog over at our lovely's blog. :D

byeeeee ~

Tonight going supper at bedok 85 with lovely Gracey, kenneth and yifeng most probably. :)

Thanks people for being there. You people are the love of my life seriously !

You peopl rawkssss ~

Love you all to the maxi maxi maxi maximum !

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"No matter what you say about life,

I learn everytime I bleed.

The truth is a stranger, soul is in danger,

gotta let my spirit be free to...

admit that i'm wrong and then change my mind.

Sorry,

but I can't seem to move on and keep you in my mind.

If I live every moment, won't change any moment,

there's still a part of me and you.

I will never regret you,

still the memory of you,

marks everything I do.

I can't waste time so give it a moment, I realise,

nothing's broken.

No need to worry bout everything I've done,

live every second like it was my last one.

I loved you and needed protection.

You're still a part of everything I do, you're on my heart,

just like a tattoo....

I'll always have you and i'll always love you. swh."