kammygkx

sometimes i really got the urge to like really scream at people's face.
something like........
"can you people stop asking how am i?! how would you feel if you're on my shoe?! do you think you would be okay?!"
wth...... okay ~ i'm just venting out and of course i know people are concerned about me that's why they would ask. but.........
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i seriously hope i injured my hands instead of my leg. by then i think i could go out freely and meet my friends and be free from all those sorrow. but i know i should be glad that i only hurt my left feet but those damn doctors make it worst and hurt my right leg after the operation. -.-
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i really feel i'm a burden when i'm out with friends. of course i know they wouldn't say that cause i'm their friends and they won't want to hurt me right? but hey , i know it myself.
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i seriously hate it when my mummy don't really understand all the pains i'm going through for my right leg and keeps nagging that i don't wanna walk and exercise on it. okay , i admit. i partly also lazy but really damn pain can.
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i really don't know what i'll do if the doctor really say my leg got no cure. i think Mr and Mrs Courage will come and find me by then i really don't know what i'll do.
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i don't think people really understand how i really feel though people always says.... "i understand , i understand..." but they only understand parts of the misery i'm going through. i'd be alot more stronger if i'm only hurt emotionally. but now i'm hurt physically too. it's gonna take a long time for me.
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i really don't know what would happen if i were to die one day seriously. like now , all of my friends have already moved on with parts of their life as i don't meet them and hang out with them often. so maybe if i'm gone , they won't be too upset right? it should be a good news to me. for my family , i think they can still take it. but seriously , i will need alot of courage if i really want to die. just hope they do come and find me soon. :(