kammygkx

okay , great. this is soooo great ! :(
i lost all the photos and video (s)
of weihao. or i can say maybe i really
didn't save it the last time. :(
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my sister helped to bring all the discs to
her office and helped me check. really
don't have. sigh..... maybe it's all fated?
maybe he doesn't want me to cry after
looking at it? i don't know....
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went to m'sia to have my statement done.
sad but glad that i've conquer myself & i won
the battle. :D
sad is cause i didn't get to see him nor do i have
the feeling that he's even near to me. :((((
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i was looking up at the sky in my kitchen this
one day. looking at the sky , listening to my phone's
songs and smoking.
people used to say that people die will go up to heaven
and heaven is high up above the sky.
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i looked and looked and looked. whispering to you
hoping you could hear me somehow.
i cried..... suddenly i saw this bright little star.
at first it seemed to me that it's you holding
on to some light writing on something to me.
cannot really figured out what it was cause
it's in very small motion.
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but then later on , when i continue staring at
it , it seemed to me like a little fairy with lights
and wings on it. the star seemed to be moving
and alive to me.
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i don't know whether is it i think too much
or my puffy eyes made me imagined that.
i looked into the sky at a very long time.
somehow i hope is you but another part
of me hoped that it's not you also cause
i want you to be by my side , not high
in the sky. :(
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my mummy thought that i would do something
foolish. she wanted to go to the toilet in the middle
of the night then she suggested that she closed one
of the window. -.-
i told her if i wanted to jump , i'd have done so earlier.
i've been sitting here for quite some time already.
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then she answered . "how i know ah. normally people
who want to commit suicide will sit there for a very
long time thinking what you've not done. "

so i replied , "well , i'm not that sort of people cause if
i sit there longer and looked down , i will not have the courage
to jump. so if i really want to jump , i would have already done so. "
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i don't want to worry her and other people.
but i just suddenly got the mood to look in the
sky that day. i also don't know what leads me to that.
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anyway , i had a dream of him today when i was sleeping
until late evening ! i woke up with a heavy heart and a smile
on my face. heavy heart cause it was a sad dream. he ignored me
again. :( smile cause i get to see him again ! :D
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sigh ~ really , my mood sucks now so don't think
can update our lovely little blog. shall update soon
i promise. :( i going off to viwawa already. bye peeeps ~ :D