hmmm ,, today was a quite average day for me .
went to school . then keep disturbing GENG HAO . as we know . his face blushes so easily . SO CUTE LA .
OOPS ! ahhas .
then after school got english common test . but was sleeping half way reading the passage . tired lehhs . then any old how write . uh oh ~
then after that meet aaron and his fren together with kelly to make my ez link card .
ahhas . the photo was damn ugly can anot ! ii was so fat lorr. PLEASE ! the person no standard . some more ,, not even half of the body . stop it ,, dun sae le . if not ,, ppl will want to see . of course is NO la ! LOL . a square + b square = c square uh !

hmmm ,, so now ii'm rotting at home waiiting for my mama to cook finish my dinner then meet grace go study le . *thumbs up* haas .
today lend vanessa $40 . do ez link all this twenty plus . so can sae ii'm BROKE le . LOLL .
YAY ! ii'm so happy euu know ,, ii so many days nvr smoke le ! yay yay ! ii'm sure ii can do it ! JIA YOU ! then still got two important task .
to forget him and to change my att . LALALA* long tym long tym la . MAN MAN LAI . LOL .

write till here ba . (:

"Call Him Mine"

I can call him mine
It was only a matter of time
Before I got tired of your ways
I tried to make you fire,
But you were only ice
And you didn't seem to wanna change
So then I looked at someone new
And he was looking back at me too
Saw that I was hurt
Knew just what to say
Knew just how to push the pain away
You know I need stabilityAnd you know you can't give it to me[Chorus]My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine
Though when I call him on the phone
I never feel butterflies
I know that I can trust
He'll always give me love
And I know mine will grow for him in time
He tells me that I'm beautiful
And I never ever heard that from you
He doesn't cause me pain
Tears falling like the rain
And though I'm still in love with you
You know I need stability[Chorus]
It wasn't easy letting go but I know that I had to think of the long run and say goodbye
And find someone who appreciates me even though even though.....
My sun may never rise the way it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way that you'd do, that you'd do...[Chorus]
The sun may never rise again like it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like I'm a part of his life
He doesn't make me cry
Doesn't make me cry
He doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine

GRACE introduced this song to me ! and it's very meaningful and nice !

haiis . so many things happen at jason chalet . hais . tsk tsk . this is the butterfly and rose ring that ii've bought . but unfortunately ,, the butterfly ring lost again because it's just too loose ! DAMN !

ok .. so went to far east to buy my ring with aaron then went to lido de KFC to pei aaron to eat and went to find KFC boy to ask how much he's paying for jason bdae then went cine buy lorr .

so when we reach cine ,, ii called yong kwang . cause he wanted to see me ? hmmm , then meet him awhile lorr . then sae heidi . then talk awhile then saw xiao long all lorr . so talk awhile with him also . then aaron wanted to go cuppage . so just go lorr .

then at cuppage sae xiao long again ! so QIAO uh . then use com awhile jason called liao so we went lorr .

hmmm ,, was a long trip . never felt so tired before .
then when reach there ,, so SWAY ! df they all behind us . but we din talk . LOLL .

then saw yuru they all then was shock la . then they got daiji . so we go over . then messy la . so went over to take a look .so we went over . but i was looking at shuai ge instead . BAD BAD ! then after we went back ,, got one dui hong sit with alex then quite handsome also . so ii faster went over to sit . but he went back his chalet afterward . SAD !

then somebody message me about the thing he asked me ! AAARRRGGGHhh ! so fan ! dunno how to sae ,, dunno how to describe . ya ,, ii admit ,, ii do feel happy when he message me ,, those sweet talks and stuff . but ii still feels he is not the one ii wan . and many la . but ii dunno how to tell him ? AAARRRGGHHH !

so ii told baby ii wanted to go to the beach . but nobody listens ! ASK ME TO GO ALONE INSTEAD ! FINE ~ ii go alone . then baby and aaron and baby stead comes find me . haiis . the one that ii've always wanted him to come ,, din come . but nvm . ii understand . his frens were there and it was her bdae . and somemore . we dun have any common topics anymore .

haisi . went back to the chalet. had a little drinks . so was tipsy . but they din know . went back ,, went to the chalet de corridor ,sit awhile ,, talk to kaopei long then went inside as ii couldn't take it anymore ,, and BOOM ! lie sraight on the floor . but they ask me go to the bed so ii just went .

then they keep asking me alot of things but ii was having a headache and was simply too noisy . so ii couldn't take it . so ii just show my att . so sorry bout it .

then ii remember ii went up to the bed to sleep with baby then dunno what ii sae to her then she angry then got off then dunno what happen ii went to sleep with kaopei long la . haiis .

just wanna tell him it's not ii wanted to use kaopei long and gek him . ii really din know wad ii was doing alright ? haiis . forget it . he won't care la . haiis . he just keep thinking ii was pushing all the blame to him . which ii din ? ! haiis . he dun understand how ii feel . ii really wanna see him .. ii wanna talk to him as a fren . but he told me he walk his way ii walk his way ! AAARRRGGGHHH ~ why is this happening to me ? nvm ,, think i'm NUMB by all his doings le . go on and WU HUI me for all ii care . i'm tired of trying to explain when euu dun even wanna hear . IT DOESN"T MATTER ANYMORE . no point holding on to something which is impossible .

"zai ta de yan jing li mian wo gen ben kan bu dao wo de chun zai"

"nan dao wo zhe zong ren jiu bu zhi de zhen xi ma ?"

"wo yi jing mei you zi xing zai zuo ta ai de nu ren le"

"wo lei de chuan bu guo qi"

"nan dao ta jiu shi wo huo xia qu de yuan ying ma ?"

"ta hui zhi dao , hui zai hu ma ?"

"you hao duo hao duo hua xiang dui ta shuo"

"wo xiang yi qie dou bu zong yao le ba"

"shui hui zai rang wo xin tiao jia shu"

"wo hao qi dai ..."

DEPRESSION & BREAKING DOWN !

all thanks to myself . will have a bad att . so sis ,, LEAVE ME ALONE .

will be confronting a doctor or counsellor . ii couldn't take it anymore . this is driving me CRAZY!

AAAARRRRGGGGHHH ! HATE IT ! !@#$%^&*&^%^$$@!~

WOW !!! today was late for school ! tsktsk . ii was already outside hall already euu know . our school is DAMN !@#$%^ lorr . then do dc la . sians . one hour then talk back to mr GOY . PITONG . LOLL . he sae wan call my parents because ii was late . den dun believe me ii first tym late lorr . sae wat if he check until ii was lying then do five hours straight then ii sae check lorr . bargain with him if ii never lie then today ii no need do la ! LOLL . then he sae nono ,, euu still have to do . so bad lorr . my four years life in bowen . FIRST TYM! mY VIRGIN ! LOLL .

ok ,, so after ii finish my dc , then of course is went home rite . then ii din notice ii walked past two DEYI boy . then dunno one guy shouted very loudly : UR FREN UH . then ii was like turn lorr . then they wasn't looking so ii just dun care and continue walk . then suddenly they call my name ! SHOCKED ! scared the hell out of my life . LOLL . but then ii was quite far from them le la . so ii dun bother because ii dunno who they are ?

after that ,, went to report lost of my IC as my mama told me to do so . haiis . stupid her make me malu la . the police shu shu sae no need to report lost if only IC is lost . only need go ICA building make replacement . HAISS . my hundred bucks ! )':

so ii knew my feelings towards rudi was just a crush again . haiis . ii dun miss him now and weirdly ,, ii dun miss HIM as before . just feel like seeing him . haiiyo . heard them sae jason got chalet . early bdae . then ii was thinking ,, he also never call me go then somemore defeng sure will go de then he also dun wanna see me. so go fer what rite . nvm . nvm . hees ~ write till here .

PREPARING FOR WORK LORR ! TODAE GOING WATCH LADY IN THE WATER WITH MY FREN ~ and he is ... ah hong . LOLL . first step changing my environment of frens . (: *thumbs up* he treats me real good and as a good sister of course . ((:

hmmm ,, today sherlyn told me RUDI was at our school . mymy ... sec 2 having camp ma . then saw some shuai ge also . suddenly feel like kinda miss him ? felt sorry of what ii've did to him in the past . feel like talking to him , seeing him . haiis . wat am ii thinking ? TOOT ~... !@#$%^ oh my gosh ! MISS HIM ! see his frenster . he's happily with his gf la . dun disturb him alright ? haiis.

hmmm ,, currently waiting for Kelly to call then go aljunied together . if she never call me by three thirty then i'm going off myself . hehheh . after that think should be meeting grace go study ba . ii need to meet her . think she needs me ? haiis . she was feeling down . and my prelims start NEXT WEEK ! oh my god . haven't even start preparing . BGR BGR !!! wa ... SHITSHITSHIT lorr . LOLL .

hmmm ,, have not been thinking of him the whole day until now . haiis . foolish me thinks that he blocks me in his msn . LOLL . not sure la . dun care . he needs time . just give it to him . he wanna start his life anew . me too . so now ii'm trying to change the ppl ii meet le . ii wanna meet ah boy ,, jimmy ,, ah hong ,, then jasmine de brother . so many to meet . then slowly slowly meet their "girl"friends . hehheh . GOOD ! keep it up .

but ii know to them ,, i'm just like a little sis . know they will protect me . LOLL .ii loved being protect by others . siao! i'm mad mad mad! breaking down soon . my studies . my work ! my life ! ARRGGHHH . so messed up lorr . dun think so much first . go find for my IC then go for dancing with my partner . LOLL . this sunday . lalala*

found out that i'm so lazy to do everything . to go work ,, to go aljunied . to studies , to find my IC . i'm growing fatter and rounder day by day . LOLL . haiis . goreng pisang uncle tells me the coffee shop going renovate for one month . dunno after that still wanna go back anot . sick and tired of the environment . but the money . SLUR SLURP * hehhheh . ii've stop taking commision le la . haiiyo . then maybe going to find work to work on friday and saturday . maybe pub ? so ii could have money and no need to worry where to go or who to meet le . hees . coughing like hell now . ii need to rest . if he is happy this way ,, let it be ok ? ii just want him to be happy and it's better off this way .

it's easy to forgive but it's difficult to forget . hope he will forgive me but dun forget me . "ai yi ge ren hao nan dan shi hen yi ge ni ai de ren gen nan ." "wo jue ding bu qu ai ye bu qu hen . (:" "wo jue de hao bei ai . wo aii de ren bu xu yao wo ye gen jia bu zai hu wo ." who will love this girl here and make her fall in love again ? the memories is stuck here in my head .

PARANOIDnomore . heh . SPASTICme

haiis . just saw he wrote a testi to another girl . MISS YA lehhs . nvm. forget it . ii'm sure ii can find a better one . it need TIME TIME TIME ! faster lehhs . haiis . can't wait to forget him . it hurts so much now euu know . haiis . how come everytime after break up he could find new girls de . so NOT FAIR ! ii wann find GUYS too . why can't ii find ? anybody got any to intro ? no paikia paikia de uh . PROMISE ? haas . LAME LAME .

today during a-maths lesson teacher bring us to north vista to dunno what exibhition de . aiyo . bluff us . got nth to do with maths also . is she wanna support her colleague lorr . then ii was doing the same old thing !! SEE SHUAI GE ! LOLL . but too bad . not one of them . all DISGUSTING ! CHAO AH BENG . nonono ,, not my type anymore . hmmm . that's all .

then after school straight go aljunied .! tired tired tired . hmmm ,, ii think ii'm gona bang down by car sooner or later le . always never look at cars de . today nearly kena bang liao . LOLL . kks . write till here .

hmmm ,, today oral !!! omg ! mama make lost my IC . DAMN ! haiis . hundred fly liao lorr . haiiyoyo . later going aljunied . SIANS ! this week need go three times euu know . tired la deh ! hmmm ,, today the oral passage was damn diff la ! can anot . LOLL . but the conversation still alright . Lucky ii went to jolin de qian chang hui . LOL . then got things to talk .

ok ,, write till here . if my life was like a movie , it wouldn't be a interesting one so dun bother to step in and have a look . BACK OFF !

ahha ~ today went to work straight after school . so was tired . then after work go meet grace and baby awhile . talk and slack . hmmm ,, today a cute guy went to goreng pisang there and buy euu know ! then he was like so cute la . the way he talks . LOLL . hmmm ,, after seeing him ,, ii think ii've change alot . dunno why . normally when ii see someone cute ,, ii would normally sae . wow ,, euu very cute hors . then all those nonsense . then make fren . LAME la . that was the past . thick skin . hmmm ,, maybe i'm afraid to fall in love again ?

hmmm ,, actually ii do like seeing him ,, see how he was like . but thinking of it , maybe his leaving me will make me grow up and think . would it be better ? I"M BACK TO NORMAL ! finally . coughing like hell la . not enough sleep . he's happy . he's happy . so ii must be happy too ! LOLL . hmmm ,, ii hope he would not turn back again . because ii know ii would surely go back to him . hao bu rong yi cong shang hai zong pa le qi lai . dun wish to fall again . understand ? euu all dun la .

haiis . no time to continue watching er mo zai shen bian . so many mixed feelings after watching it . would ii be the same as her if ii would open my mouth and tell him how ii feel ? Dun mind if he still can't forget her ? anyway ,, it's just a show and show is always that sweet la huh . hmmm ,,yes ,, ii'm sure i'll find back my smile one day . ii need ur blessings . take care . dun wanna see euu fight anymore . i may say ii dun care or seems not to care but ii DO CARE ! anyway ,, time will heal everything i'm sure .

II'VE GROWN UP FINALLY ! lalala* no gangsterism ! hehheh . no vulgarities . GRACE ,, ni de chou wo men hai shi hui bao de . not so no gangsterism jiu forget everything ok !

ii miss him ,, ii love him . but it doesn't mean that ii have to be with him . sitting one corner looking at how happy he was with his frens or another girl maybe would be enough . MUACKKS . thanks fer letting me know what is love and how hurts it could be . and those PRECIOUS MEMORIES of course . ii promise euu are never forgetten . and will always be the one with the deepest impression in my heart . ii've never regretted being with euu . RU GUO KE YI ZAI CONG LAI ,, WO HAI SHI HUI XUAN ZHE NI .

that's all ii wanna sae ba . cute cute him .. see . NEVER FORGETS ~

handsome him . hehheh . THANKS ! a big THANKEW . walking through my life and leaves footprints behind. (:

aaaaaarghhh ! grace told me a way not to messgae him ! to CONTROL ! it is to change my message counter de number . so ii deleted one number . so .. ii tried to message him and try la . some boliao things . budden !!! it turns out MESSAGE SENT ! my gosh ! then ii try send to kelly and grace but sending fail ! my god . why is heaven always playing a trick on me ? ii dun like it ok . but he didn't reply me anyway . EXPECTED ! so ii dun have to feel sad .

then when we walk towards cheers ,, ii saw him with the same usual ones . so ii faster walk . then grace still can say hi to him . but ii was looking elsewhere la . then they go cuppage . then kaopei long ask me along . but ii say dun wan of course . later go there ,, ii with them ,, he would go away . so ii dun wanna spoil his mood and everybody's mood la .

hmmm ,, this is some of the pic when ii was on the way to cine with rain and when ii was at cine with grace . ahhas .

retro me for one day ! LOLL .

my gosh ! UGLY . wad am ii doing ? ACT HAPPY ? NONONO . I"M HAPPY !!!

cute cute rain ! LOLL ii swear ii din edit !

ok . enough enough . ii'm going to watch er mo xai shen bian le .ahhas. from vanessa lend me till now ,, ii haven't even watch one ! LOLL . hmmm ,, promise to take good care of it . and ii will keep my words . CHANGING CHANGING . will it make a difference in my life ?

ii never want to let euu down or have euu go ;

it's better off this way .

hmmm,, went to cine to meet baby , grace , jamie and drea . hmmm ,, then after awhile baby got things so she went home first . then saw kaopei long , talk to him . then saw jimmy and ah hong. so talk to them also . then grace go home le so ii went bugis to find kelly to have a drink . ii was feeling so DOWN ! sigh . nobody understand . forget it .

kelly ,, thanks for being my listener and let me pour out everything . after going to the pub ,, Amy fren come fetch her so we decided to go dou feng . haiis . then went jackson at first . but ii dun feel like getting out of the car . so went east coast . still dun feel like getting out of the car . then went home . tired . sigh .

think ii wanna be al0ne now . ii wanted to go out and enjoy and not think too much too .ii wanna be a carefree and happy girl too . but with the mood ii am having now ,, think ii can't do so . instead ,, ii will only make euu all feel down and spoil all ur mood . haiis . and was feeling tired to go out . anyway ,, can save money too rite . wanna buy so much things then somemore ii attending dancing lesson with my partner soon ! so ii better save up those money before she screw me up !

he has completely left my world ! so shag ,, so lost . how to describe ? nobody can understand ii guess . the pain i'm suffering . Ah , forget it . wo xin shui le , bu zai rang ni zuo you wei nan le . take care . dun wish to see euu with so many daiji and fight here fight there . ii noe sometimes euu can't help it but ii just feel the pain seeing euu getting hurt . anyway ,, dun think it will bother euu how ii feel . TAKE GREAT CARE !

haiis . yesterday cuppage close le so we went up after that . to eat of course . but ii was damn tired . haiis . so he went to seven eleven . think he's thinking of something so ii also dun dare to go over . he one word also never speak to me all along . but it's ok la . because ii'm meeting baby also not him ma . correct ma . LOLL . hmmm ,, so lidat lorr .

then he and lulu go off le . haiis . so ii took up alot of courage to message him lorr . and in the end what ii got was this ... he ask me to give him some time . haiis . what the ... also fren fren only then ii also dun ask for much lorr . haiis . but it's ok . ii understand . if ii were in his shoe ,, ii would also do the same thing . haiis . then me and lulu talk lorr . then suddenly karp . ii also dunno why . HAIIS ~

broke down to tears . then ii was with kaopei ,, ah bee and anna . so they took turns to counsel me . haiis . so shock lorr . ah bee also will counsel ppl but for awhile only la .LOLL . but thanks anyway . hmmm ,, maybe what kaopei say was right ? ii'm not sae a very bad girl . why must ii go find all those paikia paikia stead to make me worry all the times . haiis . ii should go find one poly or what de . but the problem is ii won't have feelings for them when ii'm stuck with that one person ?! he say all will have feelings de is see how euu are going to FU CHU . haiis . STRESSED once again ! then say until how ii am used to him by my side . then he sae if i'm used to him ,, means ii dun love him . ii'm just used to have him by my side . haiis . is that so ? ii didn't know . so we talk till seven plus then went home le . SHAG ! go home change all this straight zzz liao .

today mama going malaysia . so alone . dun feel like going home . cause kor kor will be calling his gf up ba . then ii see them ,, ii would jealous euu know . hais . he would use to come up my house ... haiis . but now ii can only have the GREEN PILLOW . sad la eh . but if ii dun go home ,, where can ii go ? LOLL . ii really dun wanna disturb them and seeing them happily will only make me think of my past . HAIIS! BIG HAIIS !

ii really wanna go back to the past . haiis . maybe what anna sae was right ? he dun love me because if he love me ,, he won't ask me to change . ya ,, right . wad if ii change le and in the end he sae ii change too much and is not the past kammy anymore and he leave me agaiin , wad am ii going to do ? sigh . but maybe stepping out of this circle would be better for me ? for us ? haiis . haiis haiis .

stop brooding over it . it will have no use anymore . since i know what ii should do now ,, go ahead . change for the better and that to move on with my life . it still does have to continue . hmmm ,, think ii can't quit smoking with the mood ii have now . will try although . hmmm ,, wait till things are better le then sae ok ? hmmm ,, saw grace blog . haiis . now become me and her same same . brooding and crying over things that seems impossible to get back . grace ,, WO MEN YI DING YAO ZHEN ZUO QI LAI ! JIA YOU ! and baby and drea . seems so happy . ii'm glad for them . one day ,, ii would be the same , ii wanna be happy like them too . ii dun wanna cry again . why am ii always the one so unfortunate among them ? SIGH * maybe it's really my fault between US in the first place .

am now at cuppage . feeling so unwell la . haiis . stomach pain leg pain everywhere pain la . but ii just dun wanna go home . quarrel with my mama .cause ii din go school then she caught then she sae ii becoming from bad to worse . what is this lorr . why everybody around me dun understand me ? Can't she see i'm tired ? got to work ,, studies ,, tuition her fren's daughter then so many problems arosing around me . ii also want tym to go out and relak euu noe ? not always study study study lehhs . ii noe it's important but can euu give me a break ? ii can only sae ii won't disappoint euu ! PLEASE ! LEAVE ME ALONE ! II WANT MY FREEDOM !

haiis . so was meeting baby . but she was with ah boy la . so can sae like ii alone lidat . but nvm . ii understanding ok . though at times she still comes and find me ? hmmm,, today they got daiji at cine again. but it doesn't bother me that much le . is it ? hmmm ,, sians la . write till here . wanna go zzz le . tired ! sick ! feeling unwell !

hmmm ,, today was tired la ! PE . 2.4 . run until ii wanna black out . weak weak weak . really wanna quit smoking le ! LOLLS . hmmm ,, missing him the whole day . dunno why ? haiis . forget it . he wouldn't care much . would he ? later going goreng pisang work . tired . GOSH ! but money money ! dunno meeting who tonight . arghhh . tonight then sae la . (:

yesterday went to jolin de qian chang hui . hmmm ,, so she looks ok ok lorr . normal looking . but her face is too small please ! and her eyes too big to be in her face ! weird weird . tsktsk . hmmm , sign very fast . can sae cut queue actually . not really wanna go at first de . anyway ,, ii just want to see how she looks like in the first place and my frens can't find anyone to accompany so ii went ! anyway ,, didn't regret la .

went long john to eat after signing . here are some of the photos . hehheh .

this is her signature . lalala*

this is where she signs !

this is how the queue looks like after eating .

me with her CD . look as if ii own it . but it's not mine ! LOLL .

what's so great ? LOLL .

photo taking time ! look who's beside me ? KELLY *

BLEAHS ! we're actually at marina square de toilet lorr .

this is ii snapshot Kelly talking to a ah pek . pei yang gan qing . LOLL .

this is when we are waiting for bus towards TPY to meet HIM ! ahhas !

happy happy . he just lightens up my day . <3>

then meet him smoke lorr . then he seems tired so ask him go home first lorr . then we wait for KELLY's papa fetch us then went home le . hmmm ,, that's all !

II MISS HIM LIKE HELL !!! FEELING SO UNCOMFORTABLE W/O HIM IN MY LIFE !

hmmm ,, ii message and told him how ii felt all along now . this period of time . and ask me to give me some tym to change if he still loves me . see ,, he gives me the kind of feeling he loves me no more . ask me to stop talking about it . then dun reply my messages all this . but maybe he's tired ? can't blame .ARGHH ! dunno la . paranoid again . LOLLS . dun care dun care . heard he today got oral . hope he was doing well ? take care and miss euu LOADS ! love euu DEEP !

TODAY TODAY ! LOLL . so happy to see HIM ~

hmmm ,, today didn't went to school . just dun have the mood to go la . then meet kelly .

then mother calls !!! tadah ! she knows about it . LOLL . then geng la . sae late le dun feel like going . LOLL . later dc then very late go shu qing house . ahhas . then she no reply liao .

then we were at potong pasir mac slacking and ii was feeling paranoid ,, suddenly saw Lulu and PUAY DEFENG ! haas . was happy of course . but ii didn't show it la . act like ii dun care . but ii CARE ok .

they was talking about his hand . and my heart ache . haiis . but ii dunno what to say ? i'm no one to him . no reason why ii should show him care although ii care ? haiis . the feeling just s***. sorry. no vulgar . haas .

defeng went to school dunno apologise what . so left me ,, kelly and lulu at the void deck talk . then talk about him lorr . haiis . lulu sae is my fault . he cares for me so much and yet ii dun appreciate . keep giving attitude . keep not understanding him . haiis . but ii also dun like giving him attitude . just wanna him to show me some concern . ii know that sometimes he need some concern ii also never did la . so ii think and think and think and ii do drop some tears . haiis . ii really dun wanna cry !!! KILL ME PLEASE ! haiis . no point saying much ii think ? haiis . MISS HIM la !!

later going jolin de qian chang hui at marina square . with some school frens . they is first tym jio me out lorr . sh SHOCK la ! they guai guai de lehhs . then sometimes cannot click la . but since i'm already changing ,, so i'll adapt ! adapt to guai guai de life ! hehheh .

friday dunno want meet who . hmmm ,, want meet him and lulu but they sae they got daiji . nvm . hmmm ,, duno want meet kelly anot lehhs . but kelly gotta go daiji with her tao eh . then it's like out of point la . i dunno them then some more is their clothes de thing . then somemore ii dun like gangsterism . then she would be with her gangsterism thing . haiis . but if ii really find no one then of course is go la . correct ma . LOLL . ya wad ,, no ppl meet . dun wanna stay at home ! later mama nag nag nag ii die . baby and boy going marina square tian mimi . dun wanna disturb them . so envious of them. nvm . i'm sure i can find mine one day ! wish me happiness ok ! II MISS MY SPECIAL HIM .

HE WOULD NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME ~ HAIIS .

CHANGES OF MY LIFE !

haiis . national day is coming soon and ii was so sad . because ii remember what ii said . to watch fireworks with him . it would never happen . dream on . wow ! know what happen when ii was on the way to school today ? at the traffic junction ? a sgss girl stare at me lorr . what the ... then ii stare back lorr . but think of it ,, childish la . no more gangsterism . OK !!! i'm a 100% good girl . haas .

today ii went to aljunied then went home le . no place to go . haiis . not used to it . grace meet her school fren study . baby meet ah boy .andrea made up with andy also le . so they were the most fortunate ones . so happy for them . all the best ok ? so ii just have to go home . anyway , who cares ? hmmm ,, so sians la . miss him ? haiis . he must be enjoying now . tsktsk .

yesterday went to meet baby and grace go braddell mac study . here's some of our photo . haas .

this is where we study before heading to mac .

same same place la . (=

sometimes ii'm just wondering whether we are really studying or just studying marlboro . LOLL

the first reaction when we saw this pic was ... EEEEEEEEEE!! haas .

ii told them a secret ya ? LOLL !

same same la eh .

so when they are studying ,, ii continue to take . spastic me making stupid faces . LOLL !

GET LOST LA ! IRRITATING .

kelly sae ii look so ti go pek in this . hehheh . *slurp*

sexy uh ?! MAKE ME URS THEN . LOLL .

enough of piics la . so let me tell euu our conversation .

KAMMY : when guys haven't gotten us

GRACE : they will try to "zhen qu" us .

KAMMY : when they " zhen qu " us

BABY : they will take us for granted .

ahhas ! totally agree rite and the most funny thing was ,, one person one sentence . LOLL .

and our RULE : NO VULGARITIES ! FINE: $1

hehheh . money is rolling in fast . especially baby and we will know who is more VULGAR !!! LOLL . andrea ,, we're WAITING ... LOLL . and chalet will be coming fer us !

thanks fer making me so happy sis . knew euu all would be there though at tyms euu all not free but ii'm understanding . ii just have to adapt that kind of life . (: NO WORRIES . *thumbs up*

ii dun miss him when ii'm wiith euu all . euu all made me forget all worries . when ii am alone ,, ii do think of him and heart aches . but it will be over soon . everyone has to go through . ii'm totally fine ya ?

think friday ii would be alone too . cause andrea meeting grace in the afternoon and they would have to go home quite early and ii work till night then can go out . then baby going out with ah boy . firstly ,, dun wanna disturb them . secondly ,, if they're not alone ,, surely HE will be there too . surely ii would want to follow . but ii know he won't be too happy seeing me . so better is SIAM ! haas . anyway ,, anybody who wanna meet ,, please message to my phone . no guys are entertained . except ... hehheh . ii know who ,, my sis know who can le . LALALA* shhh . TOP SECRET . but it's obvious la deh ~

wa ,, euu know what ? today when ii was going to school ,, at the traffic junction there ,, got one sgss girl diao at me euu know . wa lau . damn du lan so diao back la . but in the end ,, think of it ,, dun care too much la . just gangsterism . HATE IT ! i'm a 100% good girl . hehheh .

yesterday went to meet grace and baby to study . went braddell mac . LOL . was having alot damn fun then when we went to smoke ,, we had a conversation .

KAMMY : when guys haven't gotten us ,,

GRACE : they will try to "zhen qu" us

KAMMY : after they have "zhen qu" us

BABY : they will take us fer granted !

LOLL lorr . so damn funny rite . one person one sentence . hmmm . this is our pic . NA ~

this is when we were studying at the void deck before heading to mac .

same same place la . HAAS ~

ARGHHH !!! some problem occur and ii'm lazy to waiit cause ii'm rushing fer tym now . so will update agaiin sooner ok . MUACKKS . was having alot of fun ok . and doesn't think too much when ii'm with them . THANKS ! muackks . will be leading the life from now on .

and not forgetting what is our rules . cannot scold/use VULGARITIES ! FINE=$1 !! HAAS . first change of my life ! everything will be smooth . hehheh !

HEARTBREAKING !!!

wa !!! so fucking damn sad !!! OMG . saw his frenster . and tears keep coming down .Dunno WHY ?!!! Love her ? go back to her then . dun let her wait . went to ask ying ying and lulu but they say they haven't patch . haiis . if he just wanna gek me ,, he did it . ok !!! he win !!! ii was sad ! a sharp pain poking through my heart . dun wanna face the reality .

if he really love her ,, then go back to her . they are meant to be together . suitable for each other. she was more understanding than me . dunno what to write la . sians la ! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH ! can somebody kill me please ! ii dun wanna suffer anymore . ii'm stuck in it ! oh GOD ! heart so paiin ... what can ii do ? can somebody lead me fo rmy next path ? the rest of my path . can somebody teach me what to do ? ii'm LOSt !! TOTALLY !!! ii can't act strong anymore . i'm breaking down !!! sooner or later . please dun torture me . I HATE THIS SHIT ! feeling so shit now !

ii wanna keep everything to myself . ii dun wanna let my frens and sisters to worry about me . ii'm OK ! ii'm FINE ! ii would try to be happy . ok ? ii PROMISE euu !

dun think ii would want to go and view her blog and their frenster anymore . ii wanna stop all this ! ii dun wanna face this cruel reality . ii know they would be back together . wish them all the best !!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE !

think won't be blogging until ii really get over it . already sae ii wanna keep everything to myself . tears keep rolling heart feels the ache . the pain . can the tym stop now ? dunno how to carry on ... it's too painful to carry on . everything happen just too fast . ii long ago knew he still l0ves her . so why still cling on to him ? ii have to let go .

SISTERS ,, II NEED EUU !!!

saw his msn nick just now . was kinda disappointed . haas . but nvm . ii also not his who . hmmm ,, just wanna sae ,, ii dun need ur care . go and care fer her fer all ii care . i'm FINE ! totally fine ! euu dun have to care fer me . it would not make me feel any better . but SAD ! euu understand ? go make to her if euu want ! ii won't bother euu anymore . HAIIS ~

today went to work . hmmm ,, so was having money now . LOLL . can go and buy my things soon . so was kinda happy . LALALA*

after work went to meet grace ,, smoke then went home le .OMG . really going to quit smoking le la . it's kiiling me ! the MONEY ! LOLL . hmmm ,, so meet her then went home . then went to view her blog as she told me she has updated . ii didn't know she was feeling so left out . haiis . how could ii do this ? ii should have known her better . she was my sister . very good one . dui bu qi . promise euu ii won't . will call euu along even though ii meet my "future" bf . if ii have any . just hope euu dun mind . if ii dun have ,, then i'm totally URS ! LOLL . kks la .

am feeling happy fer baby . she and ah boy made it up . LOLL . me ? getting from bad to worst . but it's ok . i'm used to it till i'm numb le . it does still bother me a little . but since he doesn't care ,, why should ii ? HAIIS . dunno what ii'm thinking la . PARANOID PARANOID !!! feel like killing myself lorr . can somebody just beat me till i'm awake ? HAIIS .

my life is boring .... so shall just write till here . FORGETTING IN PROGRESS . GIVE ME SOME TYM AND DUN PESTER ME . haiis .

when ii meet baby ytd ,, she was crying and crying non-stop . Hate to sis like this . While i am there, feeling useless . haiis . it doesn't bother me anymore . i'm not important to him anymore . so dun think he will be reading my blog anymore . haiis .

when ii saw baby crying , ii was thinking myself . why didn't ii cry ? Was it b'cus i knew i'm at fault ? am ii really at fault ? or have ii cried enough fer him ? i dunno . There wasn't any tears for me to drop . my heart has shattered to powder . it could never be back to pieces again .

ii knew what ii was going to change . my ATT . but do euu think ii love showing my att ?! love quarreling with him ? ii hate it . be'cus ii know it will cause us to break but what to do ? it really is hard to control . especially when euu care fer the person so much . and ii shouldn't talk to any guys anymore . ya ? even his fren ii also must talk less . But will that be of any use if ii change ? he won't be back anymore . he told me he dun wanna be soft-hearted again. So obvious rite . haiis . think just change ba . even if he will not be back ,, it will do me good . if ii find other guys ,, it would be better . but of cus it won't be so soon . i still have a long way to go . TO FORGET HIM ! maybe if ii change ,, there's still a 1% that he will come back ? haiis . ii won't pin too much hope .

ARGHHH ! miss him so much . feel like calling him to meet up . but ii know he doesn't want to see me now . i'll just have to wait for his call . i'm sure he will call me if he wanna meet . but if he doesn't ,, i really have to let go . ii saw him on msn . feel like chatting with him . but dunno what to sae . so just send him those photos that we take . haiis . he din approve . din reply . think he also cllose the window le ba . haiis . dunno what to do now . Time has already run out for a happy ending .

so what happen today ? i was totally shag . even kelly knew sth has happen to me . and she ask me so ii told her . he was on my mind so ii couldn't really concentrate on my work . haiis .why ?? why why why why why !!! ii didn't wish things to turn out lidat . ii'm AFRAID . he would find another girl soon . it's always lidat . haiis . ii dun wanna wait anymore . if he really does , ii won't bother him anymore . go for his happiness . i'm tired of waiting and yet things turn out to be the same . and making him more pissed off of me . i dun wanna stuck in this circle . ii wanna be happy too . ii admit that i'm happy when i'm with him . but it's just certain things . he cares for me ii admit . ii just dun feel the love he has towards me . he sae he was drunk so din msg me but how come he could play dota when he reach cuppage and why can't he give me a msg when he's abit awake ? is it that diff to type a msg ?

haiis . ii dun wanna think much . it would only hurt more . haiis . tears just drop today . when ii read baby's blog . she sae she isn't as strong as me . and my heart ache . yes ,, my heart do ache . but ii'm not as strong as her . ii just dun wanna brood over it . no point . he won't be back anymore . he's given me alot of chance ii know . ii shouldn't be too much asking fer more . ii din know how to love . ii wasn't a good gf . so much so to sae . haiis .

the three happy girls turns out to have the same fate over the same thing .

haiis . BIG QUARREL !! haiis . should have gone back home. but ii really wanna be alone . not ii want gek them or what and fer what ii wanna gek them . haiis . dun sae so much . no point saying so much .

maybe what jason sae is right . ii should go and think about it . what have caused us to quarrel and what have cause us to break up . and try to change a part of it . and ii should be the one changing fer him and not waiting fer him to change then should ii change . haiis . why lidat . why things turn out to be lidat ? shouldn't have gone to cuappgae in the first place . should have gone home with grace in the first place . or rather go home with baby in the first place . baby and ah boy have made it up and i'm happy fer them .

haiis . thinking much won't help me solve my problems or the problems between us . so just give me some tym to prove him that ii've change . not to care so much about his gangsterism and who he cares about . maybe this would help to change my attitude towards him ? hope so .

ARGHHHHHHH !!! so sad . what to do . he won't be back . he told me he dun wanna be soft hearted anymore . so now how ? should ii change or should ii not . haiis . no sad no sad . no point being sad . KAMMY !!!!!!!! BE STRONG . euu ken do it . this is not the first tym he's leaving euu .

face the reality . OMG . say one thing yet thinks of another thing . haiis . find work find work . forget everything . anybody got any job to intro . ii wanna WORK WORK WORK WORK . should ii go back to fernando and work ? haiis ........ pek chek pek chek . what do ii wan ? what does he want ? i'm not sure . maybe ii dun understand him enough . what he sae was right . we belong to two different world . ii should let him go . since he's happier this way . let it be . let him go . what's urs would be urs . no point forcing. let nature take its course . let fate decide how euu should go .

ii wanna be alone fer the tym being . so sis dun think would be meeting euu all this few weeks . but if ii think there's a need . i'll give eu all a call alright ? dun worry ya. i'm big enough to think . anyway ,, i LOVE euu sisters . thanks fer being there to console me . it's much better . really ...

am currently at cuppage now . so damn damn damn damn FCUKED UP !!!

ah dear went fer the dinner . ok ,, nvm . then ii told him finish everything message me .

guess what happen ?! i din receive a single message from him . and heard from baby ah wee got bring girl go down . so ii was thinking . why ah wee can bring someone who isn't his gf to go then what about me ?! ah ,, ii was just not important to him la . feel like leaving him ? haiis . this question appeared on many minds many a time . will he be happier if he went back to her ? ii know it's him who chose to be with him but when can't ii feel his love ? she's more understanding wad . correct anot ? and there ii am thinking this and that . HAIIS !!! DU LAN !!! so when we reach cuppage ,, ii didn't talk to him and he didn't bother to come over . haiis . WTF ! so angry la . haiis .

ah boy also go over to baby's side lorr . going home soon . dunno whether to type the message and send to him ? dun have the courage . know ii would be DAMN FUCKING SAD ! but did he ever put himself in my shoe ? NO ! he always says i'm unreasonable . he also never think of what he did to make me be like that lorr . haiis . maybe he's right la . I"M UNREASONABLE !!

hmmm ,, but i'm glad that ii still have my sisters . ANDREA ,, GRACE and BABY . hehhehheh . glad they are there to be with me . haas . alot of fun when we were town-ing rite . LLOL ! haiis . unspoken words ~

ahha~ i'm supposed to meet andrea ,, baby and grace at cine now and yet here ii am blogging . LOLL . hmmm ,, alright .

was a very pek chek night yesterday . went to cine to meet them then daiji here daiji there . aiya ,, FCUK IT ! then no watch movie le lorr . *sob* although ii watched le la . hmmm ,, lidat lorr . then went to baby's house . and there ii was sleeping like a piig with my ah dear . LOL . but it was "SHIOK" LOLL . hmmm .. kks ,, enough bout yesterday thingy .

today ah dear going eat dinner with his gangsterism fren and all those stuff . hmmm ,, so will be meeting him at orchard ii think . but if he finishes too late ,, then should not be meeting le ba . haiis . miss him so la . LALALA* bored to death . so many homeworks lehhs . a-maths , e-maths , geography , ss , mother tongue . and ii haven't even touch one. aiya . ii dun give a damn la . next tym then sae . LOLL . hmmm ,, maybe tonight burn midnight oil ba . LOL. kks la . write till here . gotta go bathe le . if not ,, GRACE and ANDREA is going to kick my ASS damn hard . iiLOVE my gers . they dun bear to KICK one ryte . LOL . faster faster le la . bye everyone !!

s i g n n i n g o f f

siaocharbol0vesherboy !

QUARREL !!! ARGHHH~[ii din like it !]

haiis . sians. yesterday quarrel with ah dear cause he saw my blog of what ii wrote . haiis. then he sae dun wanna meet me . then ii was like ,, sad lorr . then ii was on the train somemore and alone somemore . haiis . then was like .. tears are dropping down and yet ii couldn't cry as there are ppl on the trains . haiis . was feeling so lost . dunno what to do and dunno wad to sae . and dunno why ii wanted to cry too ? just feeling kinda sad . )':

so ii called up baby and then ii meet her . didn't intend to disrupt her and ah boy . but cause ii heard her sae she's meeting jason too so ii dun think they will mind another light bulb ? hmmm ,, anyway ,, was feeling abit better when ii was with them . althought ii waited fer them fer quite a long tym . hmmm ,, then they sae they wanted to watch movie then ii told them sae if too late i'm not going to watch le .

so we went up and watch the schedule . hmmm ,, so there's only re-cycle , superman returns and pirates of the caribea . so they've already watched superman returns and re-cycle ,, so we decided to watch the pirates de . but ii didn't want to watch it . because ii promise my ah dear that i'm going to watch with him . so ii walked off . but ii remembered that baby's drink was with me so i have to walk back and pass it back to her .

haiis . then they told me they already bought . dun waste the money . so bo bian lorr . hmmm ,, then ... we saw lulu at bishan . thought what happen . like kinda depression lidat . but ii didn't talk much to him la . then after we went down .. ah boy told us to wait downstair sae he want to go find lulu . after a long while ,, baby and me went up to find him . then when we are going down ,, ii saw lulu with ah dear together . ii was like ... OMG !! faster , RUN ! dunno why ? LOLL . maybe he sae he didn't want to meet me then ii was thinking he did not want to see me so ii just wanted to run lorr. haiis .

then we went s11 to eat and then went fer movie . ! hehheh . was nice la . but no ending . so sad lorr . guess there's still a third part ba . hmmm ,, maybe going watch with ah dear again tonight ! LOLL . waiting fer it . hees *

watch until half way ,, ah dear suddenly message me sae he reach home le then sae wad he wan sleep le . then ii was feeling happy of course . then thought he was still angry with me lorr. and so . ii decided to give in a little and talk to him nicely . hehheh . so .. we're ok le lorr . HAPPY ~ *clapclap*

wow ,, such a long post . ppl see le also dun feel like reading ryte . LOLL ! hmmm ,, anyway ,, was happy la . and feel like giving myself one tight slap for feeling so paranoid everytime la ! haiiyo ~ so ANNOYING !

heandshe*

the story of kammy and defeng~

the story of a horse and a crow .

tuhh be continued ! LOLL. (:

hmmm ,,today was fun at school la . what to sae . hahas * keep on disturb miss chek until she wanna vomit blood . but this is what we wanna do . let her be real sick and then no come to school then we are free .! LOLL . then during social studies mrs yong is like mood swing lorr . scold and scold la . but who gives a damn . is she herself too much ok . never come then nvr come la . give what surprise class test . she thinks our class like her alot mehhs ? eeyer .

hmmm ,, then alot of homework lor . later going aljunied . then maybe go meet him . but if he never call me then ii maybe no meet him le . maybe go home or go meet grace . that's all ba . need go bathe lorr . that's all folks . enjoying going to school although it's tiring . especially those tyms when we disturb PENGUIN !! LOL * miss euu guys !

II DUN GIVE A DAMN .

waiiting fer my AH DEAR come my house then night time go pasa malam . Actually dun wanna update de but siince ii've tell wanting to come view as ii told her i'll update so dun dua her lorr . ii'm not like the GOD-KNOWS-WHO hors . sae wan update fer dunno how many weeks but still haven't . lalala*

Just a blink of eye and now iit's JULY !!! i still remember when it was still Jan and there ii was dragging myself to school .For the past few months , many things happened to me that ii simply couldn't breathe . He left me and turn my world upside down . I became so depressed that ii decided to work and work to forget everything . but ii still couldn't . But fortunately , this doesn't affect my studies . *clapclap*

i met another guy soon and decided to give him a chance and to give myself a chance to forget him . ya ,, ii admit that ii do love him alot in the first place but what he did simply piss me off . and we just broke off and the feeling was like ... OMG , hurt another innocent party ! and ii was like telling myself not to fall in love again as ii wasn't ready myself until ii totally forget him and tell myself that even if he came back ii wouldn't turn back too . but ii lost this battle .. ii still went back to him . " 好 醜 的 笨 女人"

okay ,, so everything was back to normal but somehow or rather ii still feels that he still cares fer her although he didn't sae so . or am ii being PARANOID again ? haiis . sians . hmmm ,, just feel that ii should stop myself from getting deeper and deeper in this r/ship . if not i'm gonna sink and die when it breaks . LOL * i don't care who will come and view my blog and who will read this post ok !!! ii just wanna let everything out . this is a place where ii'll sae everything . i'm not afraid of whatever shit , whatever consequences i'll face . like it or hate it ,, ii wouldn't care less .

i believe that every relationship will have problems . and this is just one of our problems . true love never runs smooth . as long as he is with me 24 hour ,, ii would be happy and as long as ii'm happy ,, ii wouldn't care less ! i'm selfish ok .

just a few months time and 'N' level is coming soon . Yet ,, i'm all over BGR and not in the mood to study . STOP IT KAMMY ! YOU GONNA UT EVERYTHING TO A STOP ! STOP BEING NAIVE *

i l0ve my sisters ! smooch *

thiink i'm gonna need all ur listening and shoulders soon*WaKaKa

LALALA*i'm 'PARANOID__:;

ii'm feeling lazy tuhh blog . hehheh* but ii still did! (= so currently editing many things . making a mess out of everything . LOL . hmmm ,, bored la . now going tuhh bathe then go aljunied then go meet GRACE and AH DEAR . so will be slacking at tpy ba .

ah dear told me tml he wanna come my house sit sit then go pasa malam but ii doubt so cause he also told me his mama giive him money buy shoe so ii think ii pei him go buy shoe ba . pasa malam next tym go also never mind ba . hmmm ,, lidat lorr. ii'm bored !!!

kks ,, write till here ba . i'm tired . now go bathe le . take care everyone !! MUACKKS ~

here tuhh update . been tirred today . after school one thirty straight away go work then from two work till nine lorr . then go meet AH DEAR then went home le. was tired la . then no mood do homework . tml iis a b0riing day . need go aljuniied . haiiyo . but wei le money ,, it's ok . hmmm ,, ok ,, write till here ba . nothing much . ii may be leadiing a simple life ,, but ii love iit . lalala*

hmmm ,, am currently eating and surfing net now . wahaha~ later going to ah dear house . then still need go meet nat take the money and pass tuhh my fren . haiiyo . troublesome . then later maybe meeting grace ,, baby and andrea . maybe la . see how ba . <3

nth happen much yesterday because ii was at home the whole day . so ii just use the net , do homework ,, then use net agaiin . actually wanted to use till two plus then straight away watch soccer but my mummy cry father cry mother that's why never . then my mummy ask me go sleep sae she will wake me up to watch soccer . but she never. hmph ! ='( sad lorr . haiis . anyway .. i'm going to bathe now .

BABY ,, GRACE ,, ANDREA !!! ii miss euu guys ! muacks ~

....

hey hey,, just reached home . a little not feeling well and tired at the moment . hmmm ,, iiLOVEdefeng ... hehheh .

hmmm ,, yesterday was a tiring day fer me . went tuhh work then eat after work then rush home tuhh bathe then go cuppgae meet them then surf net then update lorr . then after see baby blog wait fer them play finish dota then we go cine watch superman ! wahaha. was quite a touchiing show but lame too . then stupid ah dear fall asleep at the most exciting part . kaos . might as well dun watch . waste money rite . haiiyo .

hmmm .. but never mind la . once in awhile . then the stupid lulu keep disturb us . wad "i'll always be around ." didi siaosiao uh . but was fun la . was kinda du lan withh lulu and jason yesterday . ask them nicely wan go already not then they keep talk cock . wah lau eh . sick lorr . then we just walk off lorr .

am currently waiting fer my food tuhh come . ahha ~ my brother fren buying up fer me . good good . who ask him sway ,, call my house fone then ii pick up then shun biian lorr . LOL . am hungry lehhs . wake up till now haven't eat yet . that shall be ma first meal . ahha ! good good can lose weight le . so many ppl say ii fat le . OMG !!!!

hmmm ,, i'm b0red

am now at cuppage . so let me tell euu wad happen today . hmmm ,,went home after school then change then go meet ah dear . he was sleeping and so ii was there watching him sleep lorr . after that ii went tuhh work goreng pisang , then went home change so now just meet till them ba . haiis . am tired but bo bian . cause no money ma . lalala* so happy la . can meet him .

of all my darlinks or sisters ,, ii love grace and baby the most !!! MUACKKS ~ thanks fer beiing there when ii needed euu all the most . promiise tuhh love euu all forever ya ?

updating . -------quiiting smokiing iin progress-------

hmmm ,, updatiing now . goiing tuhh df house then go work then head tuhh town meet my beloved sisters . hmmm ,, fer now de kammy ,, she thiinks that this is blessed because she could meet him everyday but fer last tym de kammy ,, she sure sae it's bored fer her . everyday the same old thing . after school ,, fiinish thing go meet him and go home . ii think it's good ba . can save money . LOL !

eh ,, sisters ,, dun keep say me lidat lehhs . ii dun like eh . at least ii got make an effort to meet euu all today go town rite . kks . gtg le . take care . miss euu girls ! muackks ~

lalalalalalalala

missing my AH DEAR liike hell . goiing aljunied then go find him . hmmm ,, promiise there's only hiim in ma heart . AISHITERU !! ahha~ hmmm ,, kks la . enough craps . hmmm . that's all ba . sisters uh ,, meet euu all this fri uh . town kks . but i'll be workiing till eiight plus nine . waiit fer me kks . ii chiong down . LOLS . take care and miss euu guys . MUACKKS !!!!

our niice niice piic lorr .

na ,, thiis the piic we took that tiime .

paiikia paiikia us . LOL !

stupid stupid me dunno doiing wad .

stupiid me and stupiid us . anyway ,, enjoyed the day . he's forever my black horse . wahaha . tried upload iin frenster but couldn't . haiis . too bad . ):

today went his house wait fer baby come then meet danny pass him money cause soccerr lose money and then eat then danny bought me cig then thiink he jealous . haiiyo . no matter wad ,, ii love de will always be him . hmmm ,, just simply love hiim deep deep la . ahha~ hmmm ,, that's all ba . then went home le lorr .missing hiim so much . goiing sleep soon so tml will c0me faster . ahha ~ MUACKKS to dear dear . lalala* nytes everyone .

happie (:

03rd July 2oo6...

hmmm ,, it was a happy day fer me . an0ther chance fer me . heaven was faiir to me . keep giiving me chance but ii was the one who didn't know how tuhh cherish it . haiis . so ,, was a happy day . went tuhh his house . then dunno why jiu zhi ran er ran lidat patch lorr. ahha ~ how tuhh describe thiis feeling ? been waiiting fer something so long and finally iit came . get it ?! LOLL ! hmm, ii pr0miise tuhh cheriish and tuhh treasure hiim . not tuhh do anythiing fooliish anymore and never tuhh LEAVE hiim agaiin . i know ii've d0ne alot of thiings that cause hiim tuhh be sad . that's why ii won't wanna do iit to hurt hiim anymore . he still trust me so much after wad ii did tuhh him and yet ii was there yi shen yi gui when he never did anything wrong tuhh me . haiis . *slapslap*<br>

o4thJuly2oo6...

anyway ,, what tuhh sae ,, just wanna sae ii l0ve him deep deep . ahha~ hmmm ,, n0w goiing bathe then g0iing aljuniied then g0iing meet hiim le . although n0w he change tuhh at niight never g0 out so often le but he still didn't g0 school often . but it's ok la . let it be . LOL! ii also got lidat de ma . must be understandiing abiit . ii dun wanna be liike last tym . abit abit giive attitude then quarrel . ii dun wanna lose hiim agaiin . HE"S MY EVERYTHING ~

never ever goiing tuhh make hiim sad anym0re .

haiis . so heartpaiin .

oh ya ,, one more thiing . saw my daddy at jalan besar mac yesterday . haiis . so heartpain . see his face liike so shag . omg . but ii din sae much about it . i din have the courage . feel like slapping myself . haiis . then act as if ii din know what was happening . but actually ii knew everythiing . hmmm ,, then he ... haiis . just h0pe that he w0uld st0p playiing and settle d0wn la . grace and alicia sh0uld kn0w what ii meant by playiing la . haiis . heartpaiin . then he t0ld me ii din give him a cor on father's dae and my sister did . haiis . so unfillial me . haiis . he must be sad . haiis . nvm . his c0ming bdae ii sure g0 fiind hiim . w0uld be with him one full day . it's a pr0miise alright ? DADDY ,, ILOVEU ! muackks ~

my daddy daddy . haiis . du bu qi*

introduce MISS SWAN . LOL .

hmmm ,, so now , wad's fer me ? went to df house because he called me . but jason was there and then meet baby ,, su guan ,, aaron ,, ah boy ,, terrence . yup yup . then went to mass and play billiard lorr . omg . so siians . then order mac to eat then went home le .

today woke up very early . then saw his msg . he used my didi fone message me sae he called me but ii was asleep . haiis. why ii so early sleep sia . too bad fer me . haiis . then when ii go see my blog saw his tag . ahha ~ happy like f**k . dunno what to sae . h0pe he will c0ntinue seeing . haiiyo . see ,, ii keep torking about him agaiin . *slapslap* . liidat how to forget . wahaha~ nvm . i'll wait . lalala*

cute ryte . will always be HIM ~ (^_~)"

hmmm ...

YESTERDAY~

went tuhh ciine and saw them . then actually didn't talk wan then meijuan came and ask whether ii wrote a testi is it so ii sae yes lorr . wow . she look so diff from frenster lorr . wahaha ~ dunno who was that ? at first la . then ying ying sae hi so ii sae hi . actually was quite paiseh la . didn't know things would turn out tuhh be lidat . hmmm ,, then when ii went tuhh 7eleven help baby buy battery more worst sia . ii can't take out the battery . LOL ! luckily meijuan they all came and help me . thanks uh . haas * MALUMALU . muahaha ~

TODAY*

hmmm ,, he called me . dunno what happen . seems emotional . first tym he jio me out . must faster le . kks . write till here . going bathe le . dun wan tuhh keep him waiting . (: happy !

b0rdem .

hmmm ,, just went back fr0m baby house. tired . just bathe fiinish . update finish wan go ciine meet them le . hmmm ,, yesterday meet le then take pfotos le lorr . yup yup ,, am enjoying it . wahaha ~ hmmm ,, haiiyo . wad to sae lehhs . nothing la . I DUN MISS HIM . yaya ,, wadever lorr . that's all la . tml need do homework lorr . siians half half lorr .

NICE SONG TUHH SHARE *

I will not make the same mistake that you did. I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard. I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid.
I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life. My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid.
I watched you die, I heard you cry in the night in your sleep. I was so young you should've known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side, so I don't get hurt Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in. Because of you I am ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you I am afraid, Because of you.